I Didn't Want Them to Know
by SimplyHermione
Summary: Complete. HGDM. Hermione has some problems at home. Can Malfoy help her before it's too late?
1. Admitting it

**It's all J.K. Rowling's, except the plot. Thanks.**

They all saw me as the sweet, know-it-all girl who got all the grades, but they didn't really know me. They, in fact, didn't know anything about me. In Hogwarts, I was just Hermione Granger: the smart one. They didn't know about home. They didn't know about everything I went through. They didn't know how much I dreaded going back there, going back to him. They didn't know any of it. But then again, how could I blame them? I didn't want them to.

I enjoyed my act. I liked that they all thought I was perfect, and I was so good at pretending. That cut was from me washing a knife and having it fall, that bruise was from me running into my book shelf in my room; stupid me, so clumsy. There were excuses for all the marks, and I was a smart girl. I knew how to make all the right ones, and I knew exactly how to play it off so they wouldn't know. Like I said, I didn't want them to. That would've ruined everything.

Then he got involved. I didn't ask him to; he just did. He noticed one of the marks was in the shape of a hand. He said it wasn't normal. He said that no one should do that to me, and he wanted to know who did. But I knew he didn't really care. He was just nosy and didn't know how to keep himself out of other people's business. So I refused to tell him anything.

He wouldn't go away, though. He just kept asking. Every new mark was a new cause for argument; it was like I was always defending myself. I couldn't keep it up. I tried, though. I tried so hard. I didn't want them to know.

* * *

I guess the things with my dad started when I was a little girl. I'd do stupid things, and he would punish me. It really wasn't anything out of the ordinary. One day, I guess he went too far. I had a mark on my arm, in a place we couldn't hide very well. The schools talked to some child protective service, and they took me away from him for a while. Soon, though, I was back. I told them all I wanted to go back, because I knew that was what Dad would have wanted me to say. 

When I went back, everything was the same. He just learned to hit me where they wouldn't see. And I didn't dare tell anyone. After all, I was a smart girl. I knew what he'd do to me if anyone found out. Even worse, I knew what he'd do to Mom and my siblings.

When I got my Hogwarts letter, he didn't want me to go at first. Then he finally decided he'd allow me to go, as long as I came back for every break to visit. I agreed, and I decided to throw myself into school even more than ever. I'd realized by that point that school was the only thing that could get me away from him forever, especially a school specializing in something he couldn't even do.

The first time I really realized how much I wanted a real family was the first time I saw the Weasleys together. There were so many of them, and they did have their fights, but there was just so much love in their parents' eyes... I wanted that. I just shook it off, though, and I decided I'd live with my family the way it was. After all, you can't change who your parents are.

* * *

So I went home every break, and I covered up the bruises every time I came back. It went that way for a long time. In fact, I made it through almost all of my Hogwarts years with no one knowing. 

After one Christmas break, Malfoy and I were arguing as per usual. In some ways, I looked forward to our little disagreements. I mean, he was entirely inappropriate and cruel, but yelling back at him somehow helped get some of my anger out. I liked having somewhere to focus all of that; it helped me focus more on school the rest of the time.

"Aww, going to go back to your Potty and the little Weasel now, Mudblood?" Malfoy asked as I walked off.

"If you must know," I replied, turning back to him. "Yes, I am."

He glared at me.

"Besides," I added, "we both know they're more man than you'll ever be." As I turned away, Malfoy grabbed my upper arm to turn me around. I flinched more than I intended to, and he noticed.

"Blimey," he said callously, "it's not like I grabbed you that hard."

"Whatever, Malfoy," I responded, and chastized myself for letting my voice shake. "I'm out of here."

He grabbed my arm a little softer and spun me around to him. "What's up with you, Granger?" he asked, and I thought I almost detected some amount of sincerity in his question.

"Shove off, Malfoy," I said. "It's none of your business." Whatever I did, I had to keep him from looking,but even as I thought that, he pulled up my sleeve. Crap.

His face changed entirely as he registered what he saw. I couldn't look at him. After all, I had already seen it. The bruise was darker than they normally were because I had tried to fight back that time. I had known better, but on instinct I had turned from him. It was a bad move, and I knew it. So I paid for it.

"What's up with you?" he repeated more softly.

"Nothing," I said, as coldly as I could. I didn't want him to see that it hurt. I didn't want anyone to know, especially him. I cursed myself for ever flinching when he grabbed my arm.

"Granger, who did this?"

"No one." I glared as much as I could. "Now shove off. I'm leaving."

With that, I turned on my heel and walked away. He didn't stop me, and I wasn't entirely sure if I had wanted him to.

* * *

In the coming days, he had talked a little more to me about it. He was always trying to talk, and I never wanted to. Eventually, I blurted out:

"Okay, so he gets mad sometimes. I do stupid things, and he gets mad. What of it? It's not like everyone's parents haven't hit their kids at some point or another. He just does it more often, that's all. It's normal." I noticed my voice lower a little bit as I tried to convince myself. "My dad's normal."

Malfoy looked at me in disbelief. "You mean to tell me," he said, "that your father did that to you?"

"Maybe he did," I replied. "So what?"

"Granger," he said, "you know that isn't normal as well as I do. No one should do that to anyone."

"Whatever, Malfoy," I retorted. "Besides, I'm just a 'filthy Mudblood.' It's not like you care."

I vaguely noticed he looked hurt, but I didn't care. I left anyway. I hadn't wanted him to know, and now he wouldn't stay out of it.

I just wanted him to get out of it.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys, let me know what you think. I know it's a little darker than some of the other stuff I've done, but hopefully it won't turn out too badly. Anyway, let me know. Later.**


	2. Finding Common Ground

**Except the plot, it's J.K. Rowling's. Just so you know.**

I couldn't for the life of me figure out why Malfoy was acting so out of character. I mean, Draco Malfoy, heir to the Pureblood Throne, caring about a Mudblood? That wasn't even possible. So I asked him one day.

He was annoying me as usual with all his talking about me needing to get help.

"Malfoy," I interrupted, "what do you really care anyway?"

He paused and looked at me.

"I mean, after all," I continued, "wouldn't the world be better without one more Mudblood?"

"Well of course it would," he said haughtily, "but this isn't about that."

"Really, Malfoy," I prodded. "Then what _is_ it about?"

He didn't say anything for a moment. Then:

"Well, okay, Granger," he said a little more softly, "maybe I know what it's like."

"What?"

"Maybe..." He pulled up his shirt, revealing a dark pink scar. "Maybe my father gets a little carried away sometimes, too."

* * *

Well needless to say, I avoided him for a while after that. I mean, the nerve of him! Comparing my father to Lucius Malfoy!

Still, though, I knew that wasn't the only thing that bothered me. Deep down, I knew I just didn't want to have that much in common with Malfoy. Besides, his sympathy sickened me. I've always hated sympathy.

So I stuck with Ron and Harry. They believed my excuses. They, like everyone else at Hogwarts, wanted so much for me to be the smart little girl that they would've believed anything. That was how I wanted it.

* * *

Malfoy did find me from time to time. One day in particular, though, he was a little different.

"Look, Granger," he said in his stuck-up way. "I know you don't like me. And frankly, well, I don't like you either." At this, I sniffed in agreement.

"Well anyway," he continued, "I know we have a break coming up soon." As if I hadn't remembered. I thought about it day in and day out. I had started having nightmares, even. I'd already begun coming up with new excuses for the marks I knew he'd leave. But I couldn't let Malfoy know that.

"And?" I asked, trying not to show any expression on my face.

"Look, I know you want to be tough," he restarted. "And so do I." Silence. "But that hard truth of the matter is, neither of us want to go home." He said the words in a matter-of-fact way, not quite sincere, but not cold, either.

I tried not to look at him. "Your point?" I asked.

He touched my shoulder. Caught off guard, I looked up. Immediately regretting it and knowing he had seen the pain in my eyes, I looked back down and pulled away roughly. I started walking.

"Granger!" he called as I left.

I stopped without turning around. "What."

"Write if you need to," he said gruffly.

"Right." I kept walking.

* * *

Break was Hell as usual, but I'd rather not talk about it. Anyway, soon enough we were back in Hogwarts and I had a fresh new batch of bruises to explain.

Malfoy wasn't there the first day back. Ron and Harry celebrated, and I pretended not to care. By the third day, though, the scar kept coming to mind. With his words: _"Maybe my father gets carried away sometimes, too."_

I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that refused to go away. I tried to shrug it off. I mean, it wasn't like Malfoy and I were friends or anything. Still, though, I couldn't shake it. Besides, what would I do if my dad really had gone too far and no one noticed?

I went to McGonagall.

"Professor?" I started.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Well, I was wondering..." Wow, this was difficult. "That is..."

"Spit it out, child!" she said. "I haven't got all day!"

"Right." I took a deep breath and blurted: "I was just wondering if you've heard anything about Malfoy because well we were talking before break and I know we're not really friends or anything and anyway he showed me this scar and I think Lucius did it and well he said sometimes he gets carried away and well Malfoy hasn't been in class and well anyway, do you know if he's okay?"

She stared at me, bewildered.

"Well, I..." she started, then stopped. She took a breath. "As far as I know, Miss Granger," she said, "Mister Malfoy is just fine. He's just taken a few days off, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Well of course I'm sure. Mrs. Malfoy called me just this morning."

"Right then," I said, not quite sure. "Well, I was just..."

"It's all right, Miss Granger," she said.

"Right," I said, nodding. "Right."

I quickly left her office.

* * *

That nagging feeling wouldn't go away, though, no matter how hard I tried. When Malfoy hadn't come to school by that Friday, I knew something was wrong.

I just kept thinking about how I'd feel if my dad ever went too far...

So I did the unthinkable.

That night, I snuck away from Hogwarts.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. I'll update as soon as I can. Thanks for all the reviews! I really tried to take what you said to heart!**


	3. Shocked

**Yep, they're J.K. Rowling's. In case you forgot or anything.**

As the bus dropped me off in front of the Malfoy mansion, I really couldn't believe what I was doing. I mean, here I was, Hermione Granger, sneaking out of school to go see if Draco Malfoy was all right. _At his home_. As in, Malfoy Manor, the dwelling place of two very well-known Death Eaters, one of whom I knew had very violent tendencies. And if he'd do that to his son... Anyway, I didn't want to think about it. For some reason, I just had to know Malfoy was okay. I couldn't explain it.

Of course, I had no clue how to get in. For once in my life, I hadn't planned that far ahead. The mansion loomed ahead of me, casting an even darker shadow in the twilight. _What am I doing here_? I thought to myself. _I don't even know which room is his_...

I knew I couldn't just go up to the front door. I mean, what was I going to say? "Hi, Mr. Death Eater, I'm that filthy Mudblood, come to save your Ferret son from your child abuse"? Hardly. Yet there I was, standing awkwardly in Malfoy's front yard with the bus long gone. Well, crap.

So I decided to at least take a walk around the grounds. Maybe in a place this large they'd have a map? Though I practically laughed at myself for even considering the thought, I still walked.

I figured the place was probably beautiful in the daylight. Though the mansion was a dark gray stone, the flowers in the surrounding gardens were quite colorful. Mrs. Malfoy's gardeners did very well with the place. While I was considering this thought and continuing in my little walk, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I froze.

Too afraid to turn around, I stood perfectly still.

"Granger?" came a confused voice from behind me. Finally, I breathed. Turning slowly, I recognized Malfoy in the dark. He looked awful. His face was all cut up; it looked as though someone had just taken a razor and slashed him. It was hard to look at him, so I just looked away soon after.

"Malfoy, I..."

"Granger, don't..."

I looked up at him again. I forced myself to look into his eyes. For the first time ever, Malfoy looked, well, human. His eyes were a light blue instead of the cold gray, and there was so much pain in there...

"Malfoy, what did he do to you?" I asked softly.

"It's nothing," he said gruffly, turning sharply away from me.

"No," I said, "that certainly isn't nothing." I gingerly grabbed his arm to turn him to face me. "Malfoy, what happened?"

"I..." he started. "Wait, what are you even doing here?" He shook his head. "You're supposed to be in school."

"Well so are you," I said, matter-of-factly.

I detected a small, sad smile on his lips. "Yeah, I suppose so." He sighed. "Still, Granger, what are you doing here?"

I didn't know what to say at first. Like I said before, I hadn't exactly planned this whole thing out. "I, well," I stammered. Then I took a deep breath. "I guess I just knew it wasn't like you to not be in school, and, well, I started thinking about what you said, with your dad getting carried away." He continued to watch me as I spoke, though his face was primarily emotionless. "And anyway, so I started thinking about what I'd do if my dad had gone too far and I just had this bad feeling, and well..." I sighed. "I guess I was worried about you," I finished, looking down.

"You know it was dangerous for you to come here, don't you?"

I didn't say anything back at first. Then I said, "Yes." I considered my words carefully before adding, "But somehow I knew you could be in danger yourself, and I had to make sure you were okay."

"I'm okay," Malfoy said softly. "He went away on business. He's not here."

I released a breath I didn't realize I had been holding. "So," I said, "the cuts. Could you not have visited a healer or something?" I knew there were more sensitive things I could have probably said, but this was Malfoy, after all. No need to get too mushy.

"Ordinarily, yes," he said, beginning to walk through the grounds. I followed. "These cuts, however, are Malfoy handiwork."

I looked at him, confused.

"In other words," he added, "they're magic. Dark magic, actually."

When I still didn't appear to completely get it, he continued.

"There's this certain type of magic they don't tend to teach in school. And when someone uses it for violent purposes, healing spells do nothing."

"Oh." I took a moment to let all of it sink in. "So will they heal at all?"

"Yes," he said, "but they'll take about as long as muggle wounds. I should be back in school by the end of next week." He sighed before smirking a bit. "At that point, I'll be able to pass them off as a flying accident."

"Are you going to tell anyone?" I asked.

"Would you?" He stopped and looked at me for a moment.

I smiled slightly. "Good point." He nodded.

I was going to ask him why Lucius had done it, but I realized the answer wasn't important. It rarely ever was.

Instead, we continued to walk the grounds for a while longer. After an hour or so, he arranged my transportation back to Hogwarts.

* * *

I knew the cuts had been more serious than Malfoy had let on. That pain I saw in his eyes was real. It wasn't just physical pain, but I tried my best not to consider exactly what Malfoy was going through. After all, considering his pain would have meant giving my own just as much consideration. 

Instead, I researched. I made up some excuse to tell the librarian, and I perused the Restricted section. I found a wizarding medical text in there with Malfoy's exact injuries. What it said frightened me more than ever:

"Though this type of wound, a result of certain types of dark magic, appears relatively harmless, the effects are far from benign. The markings shown in this photo are the trademark of the most severe form of this magic, which is not to be discussed within this text due to the often extreme penalties for using it. The type of magic used often results in death, though subjects know within 24 hours of exposure how severe the effects will be."

The markings exactly matched the ones I had seen on Malfoy.

* * *

For the next few days, I was in shock. I continued as always in school, and though a few people asked why I was more quiet than usual, I attributed it to a lack of sleep. I just told them all I needed to get a bit of rest. In truth, I didn't know what I needed. 

_"Often results in death."_ Wow. _Death_. His father almost... But that was his _father_. I could scarcely believe it. I mean, surely _my_ father would never. He couldn't. There was no potential way that my father would ever consider doing anything of the sort, and I was fully intent on this fact. It didn't matter that he had battered me, broken me, sent me and siblings to the hospital on numerous occasions, and, okay, my mother did not actually die that time he slit her wrists. Besides, surely she'd done something incredibly stupid to warrant that sort of punishment. _I'd_ never do anything like that. Right? Suddenly I realized I wasn't so sure anymore.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone, let me know what you think. So far I've been pretty good about being able to update almost daily, so hopefully I can keep it up. Thanks for all the reviews so far!**


	4. Finally Convinced

**Yep, it's J.K. Rowling's. **

Malfoy was back in school the following week as promised. For a few days the Hogwarts halls swarmed with rumors of his "flying accident," but of course I knew better.

He and I still didn't talk much, but we tended to be much more cordial than before.

"So, Granger," he said one day, "did anyone ever find out?"

"About what, Malfoy?" I asked, slightly suspicious.

"Your little excursion to Malfoy Manor."

"Oh, that," I said, relieved. "No."

A moment went by where neither of us spoke. We each seemed lost in our own little worlds.

"What about you?" I asked suddenly.

"In what regard?"

"The 'accident,'" I replied, placing special emphasis on the word.

He looked at me as though I were crazy. "Of course not," he replied.

We stood in silence for another moment or so.

Then: "Why not?"

He laughed. "Come on, Granger. You know the answer as well as I do."

"Maybe," I said, not quite as certain as before.

"What's up?" he asked, looking slightly concerned. It was a good look for him.

Shaking my head to avoid _that_ thought, I replied, "You know, I'm not sure."

"You're considering it, aren't you?" He looked at me knowingly.

"Considering what, exactly?"

"Getting help." When I didn't reply, he added, "It could be a good idea, you know."

I considered his words. "I don't know," I said. I bit my lip. "He's really not so bad."

"That's what _I _thought." His voice was so quiet, I could barely even make out the words.

I looked up at him, and there was that pain again. The physical scars were starting to heal, but I could see all the rest of it. I touched his arm softly, and it was all I could do not to cry. "It'll be okay, Draco," I said quietly.

"No, it won't," he said just as softly, in his matter-of-fact way.

I didn't know what to say.

"You're a smart girl, Hermione," he added. "I'm sure you know by now exactly what these marks mean." I looked away. "See," he said, placing his hands on my arms and meeting my eyes, "you can _do_ something. If I do, well, he'll just finish what he started."

Tears immediately sprang to my eyes.

"Besides," he added, "who'd ever want to go up against Lucius Malfoy?"

* * *

Draco's words haunted my thoughts for days. I knew he was right, of course. He really couldn't do anything, and that was so sad. He was right, too, when he said I could. Muggles have agencies for that sort of thing, and anger management classes. I realized that Draco was counting on me. In some weird way, confronting my abuse helped him learn to cope with his own. As strange as it was, he needed to help me so he could feel okay. He needed _me_. It was a lot to take in. 

In the next few days, he and I talked a lot. We had somehow, in the madness of it all, dropped the name calling and called an unspoken truce instead. We had even resorted to using first names. These stipulations were only when we were alone, of course. In public, someone might ask what had brought us together.

We spoke often about our experiences. I'll admit, it was nice just telling someone. Of course, no one else knew. I still wanted it that way. I couldn't bear having them know.

That wasn't all we talked about, though. After a few walks on the castle grounds, we began discussing classes, friends, hobbies, and the like. I was surprised to find a friend in him. A secret friend, but a friend nonetheless.

Inevitably, though, the conversation always came back to me.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked one day.

I sighed. "You know, I don't know." He nodded. "Sometimes I'd rather just not think about it."

"Yeah," he said. "Pretending well enough almost lets you convince yourself sometimes."

"Exactly."

We walked a bit more without speaking. As much as it surprised me, Draco and I were really beginning to get close. He wasn't so bad once I had gotten to know him. It was becoming increasingly easier to be myself around him, and I liked that. Sometimes I wondered when I had last been myself at all.

"What are you thinking about?"

I hesitated. Looking up at him, I considered telling him all of it. "Well, I don't know" came out instead.

"Hmm," he said. "Somehow I don't believe you." He smiled. The genuine nature of it caught me off guard, and I actually blushed.

I took a breath and smiled back.

"Well honestly," I said, "I was just thinking it's nice."

"What's nice, exactly?"

"Having a friend to talk to." I smiled again.

"I agree," he replied, smiling in return.

No one said anything for a moment.

"So," he said finally. "When are you going to contact someone for help?"

Normally his persistant nature would have annoyed me and I would have walked away. Instead, though, I just took a deep breath and gave in to it. "I guess I should, huh?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "I think so."

* * *

The next few days were rough for me. I had enjoyed being myself with him, and I wanted to feel that free all the time. I knew the only way was to get help. So I did.

With some amount of difficulty, I managed to find a muggle telephone, and I started making calls. Draco was with me all the way.

I just wished there was some way I could do the same for him.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	5. Getting Help

**Nah, I don't have the creativity necessary to create this whole series. That's all J.K. Rowling.**

The phone calls were largely successful, which was amazing to me. In everything I have ever heard about the muggle legal system, well, it sucks. Hence, I didn't expect much out of my attempts to actually get help, at least not any time soon.

As it turned out, my dad had been thinking a lot in the past couple months anyway. He had been considering anger management because he knew he went too far sometimes. Therefore, with a little push from the legal system, he enrolled in anger management classes immediately. (It was that or potential jail time.) The anger management counselor had high hopes for him, and we were all happy to hear it. Though I was a bit skeptical, I still liked knowing at least someone knew about it. That way, if it ever came back, it would be in the records. It's always easier that way. They tend to pay more attention when it's a recurring problem.

Of course, everyone at Hogwarts remained oblivious to the whole matter. On my end of things, at least I hoped I wouldn't have to explain any more marks. If nothing else, there was more of a chance for that now.

Draco was thrilled for me when I told him the news.

"Hermione, that's wonderful!" he exclaimed, wrapping me in a big hug. I laughed at his unexpected show of emotion and hugged him back just as much.

Once we got over our random bout of mushiness, I looked at him for a moment.

"You know what would be even more wonderful?" I asked, studying his reaction.

"What's that?"

"If we could get help for you."

His face immediately fell. "That's impossible," he said. "And you know that as well as I do."

"No, Draco, it's really not," I said earnestly. "If I did it, you can too."

"Granger," he said almost coldly, and I flinched at the regression into my last name again, "it's like I said before. Who would want to go up against Lucius Malfoy?"

* * *

I considered the entire scenario over and over in my mind. After all, who really _would_ want to mess with that man? Everyone I knew in the wizarding world was afraid of him, and with very good reason. He could absolutely ruin anyone's reputation, and they'd be lucky to get away with just that. I shivered instinctively. 

Then I realized it: "Dumbledore."

"Yes, Miss Granger?" the Headmaster said from behind me. I jumped in response. I hadn't even realized I had said his name out loud.

"I, that is..." I stuttered. I certainly wasn't prepared for this. A lot of that had been going around lately...

He smiled in return. "Go on," he said kindly, breaking me out of my thoughts..

"Okay, so what if I have this friend? And this friend has problems at home, big problems." Dumbledore nodded. "His father is physically abusive, but he won't get help for it." I paused. "And what if his father almost killed him last time, and he still won't get help? And what if he won't get help because this man is a very powerful, not to mention just plain frightening, wizard?"

Dumbledore appeared puzzled for a moment.

"And what if this particular wizard is a Death Eater as well?" I said the last sentence so quietly I wasn't sure he had heard me.

"Miss Granger," he said softly, "if you're worried about your friend, I'd suggest you first talk to him." He paused and studied me a moment. "And then, since I assume you have already done so and gotten nowhere, I would suggest you contact an adult who can help you with the situation."

"Well I'm trying to do that, Sir," I replied.

He laughed softly. "So I noticed."

I didn't say anything at first.

"Miss Granger, this friend of yours, he wouldn't happen to be a Mr. Draco Malfoy, would he?"

I was completely silent. I had a feeling the look on my face betrayed me. At that moment, I realized I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Crap.

"It's all right, Miss Granger," he said. "I noticed the marks on my own. Powerful magic, to make those." That last part almost seemed an afterthought, and more to himself than me.

I nodded slowly, not meeting his eyes.

"I'll talk to Mr. Malfoy, all right?" I looked up with wide eyes. "And this conversation of ours, it can be our little secret." He winked at me, and I smiled gratefully.

I left his presence feeling much, much better.

* * *

That much better feeling dissipated a bit once I saw Draco. He looked livid. 

"Granger, what the hell was that about?" he asked, glaring at me. If looks could kill, something told me he wouldn't have minded having me drop dead on the spot.

"I, uh, what are you talking about?" I stammered.

"Dumbledore." He studied me with that look of hate in his eyes. "He asked me about the marks."

"Draco, I..."

"Don't," he said, cutting me off. "Just don't."

I just stood there, dumbfounded.

"He's going to contact the authorities now, Granger." I still said nothing. "I hope you're happy."

With that, he brushed past me roughly, nearly knocking me over.

And again, all I could think of was there was one more thing I hadn't been prepared for. I tried to ignore the tears coming to my eyes.

* * *

The next few days were borderline unbearable. I had gone back to Harry and Ron, but their company was only slightly comforting. They, of course, knew nothing, and I was so sick of acting. For once, I just wanted to be myself. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed the walks I had with Draco. Not Draco himself, of course, but at least the walks. I knew I wouldn't even be able to admit that to myself. 

I didn't hear so much as a rumor about Draco, but that didn't surprise me. I knew he'd have a solid control on it. Once in a while I saw him in the halls, but he always avoided me.

With all the problems surrounding Draco, I did what I always do: I threw it into school. I found my escape in overachieving, and I did it to the fullest. I received even higher marks than before, I spent nearly all of my waking moments in the library, and I answered all the questions in class.

Somehow, though, I knew something was missing.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone. This chapter was a bit more difficult to write. Hopefully it was okay, but let me know regardless. Thanks!**


	6. Making Up

**Nope, still don't own the rights to Harry Potter. Those are reserved for J.K. Rowling.**

The next time I actually talked to Draco was in the library. I saw him studying, and I, albeit hesitantly, took the seat across from him. He didn't say anything.

After a while of tense silence, I finally said, "So, how are things going?"

He glared at me. "In what regard, Granger?" he asked coldly.

I shuddered slightly, tempted to just give up. Somehow, though, I knew he needed to talk. And as far as I knew, I was the only one at Hogwarts who understood.

"You know," I said slowly, "everything with Dumbledore and your father, and all that."

"Oh," he said, that cruel tone still evident, "you mean how you told Dumbledore about what you weren't supposed to tell anyone?"

"I..." I started. Then I sighed deeply. Without really thinking, I put my hand over his. He looked up at me with not quite as much hate, and I said, "Look, Draco. I really didn't mean to hurt you." He scoffed, pulling his hand away. "I just... I was so worried about you, I didn't know what to do." I looked down, afraid to meet his eyes. "I didn't even mean to tell him," I said softly. "I just started talking before I even knew what I was saying."

"Typical for you," he said wryly, and I thought I detected a slight smirk when I looked up.

His expression got much more serious, and he said, "Do you know how much danger you could have just put me in?"

My breath caught in my throat. "I know, Draco, that's why I didn't want to say anything..." I looked at him hopelessly. "But you know Dumbledore, he's a very intelligent man, and I didn't even say much..."

I drifted off, looking away sadly.

Draco didn't say anything back.

The tense silence seemed to go on forever, and eventually I realized he wasn't going to be the one to break it. So I took a deep breath. "Look Draco," I said so softly I wasn't sure he could hear me. He looked up, which showed me maybe he had. I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked into his. They were a bit softer than before, and I took that as some sort of sign. Again without thinking, I found my hand covering his. "You know I'm here for you," I said. "No matter what."

Another moment of silence passed between us, but I noticed he didn't pull away. Finally, he sighed. He looked at our hands and rubbed his thumb gently along the length of mine, then said, "Yeah, Hermione." He looked up at me. "I know."

My heart skipped a beat as we sat there, looking at one another. I noticed his hand was so warm under mine, and the look in his eyes was much softer than before. I smiled softly, gently squeezed his hand, and then pulled away. As I stood, I said, "It'll be okay, Draco."

He smiled softly. "I don't know," he responded, and I noticed he looked a bit more hopeful. "Maybe it will."

* * *

I didn't get to go to the trial. Both Dumbledore and Draco said it would be best if his family didn't even know I was involved at all. From what I heard, Lucius was downright feral during the proceedings. Dumbledore and Draco also decided it would be best if Lucius didn't even think Draco had told anyone about it. Since Dumbledore did know enough about dark magic to recognize the marks, he decided to tell the court that he had simply noticed the marks and questioned Draco. Since that was essentially what had happened, minus my involvement, this testimony from both sides held up even under Veritaserum.

Mrs. Malfoy was questioned as well, and Draco told me he had never seen her look so upset. "She just looked so torn," he had said sadly. "I've never seen her like that..." In the end, they had to give her Veritaserum to get her to say anything against her husband at all, and her story matched Draco's. Once they finally convinced Lucius to testify at all, Veritaserum once again came to the rescue. Lucius admitted to all of it, and his future looked quite grim. As it turns out, those "often extreme penalties" involved a sentence of life in Azkaban.

Draco came to me the day of the final sentencing.

He looked absolutely torn, and I wasn't completely sure what to do. At first, he said nothing at all.

"So it's today, huh?" I asked lamely, if for no other reason than to break the silence.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

He looked at me, and I saw that same pain, only magnified. Without a second thought, I hugged him. Seemingly surprised, he hugged me back, relaxing into me. "It'll be okay, Draco," I said softly.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I'd never seen him look so insecure. "I mean, Azkaban, that's, wow..."

"Sssh," I said quietly, rubbing his back. "I'm sure the court system will know what's best."

He pulled away slowly, his eyes locking with mine. I could hardly bear to see him in that much pain, but I continued to look. "I don't know, Hermione," he said. I had never heard his voice so genuine. "I mean, he's done some really awful things, and not just to me." He paused, as if lost in his own thoughts. "But, you know, he's my father."

I nodded.

"Shouldn't I love him?"

Tears filled my eyes and I looked down. I had absolutely no clue what to say.

When I looked up, I noticed there were tears brimming his eyes as well. I hugged him again, this time with even more emotion than before. As he cried softly on my shoulder, his question still hung in the air.

* * *

Draco's thoroughly unexpected show of emotion plagued me throughout the time they were away for the sentencing. I knew what he must have been going through, and I tried to imagine what I would think in the same situation. I mean, if my father hadn't been so compliant, if he had gone that far, what would I do?

Would I have to ask myself if I should love him?

I was beginning to realize the standards of normalcy are completely overrated. Sure, some people have their perfect lives held up to our general standards of how everything should go, but those are few and far between. Everyone has their secrets, even the ones who seem to have it held together the most. Likewise, even people who don't have as severe of issues still have issues that are just as big to them. Take Ron, for example. The constant bickering between him and his siblings, combined with Percy essentially abandoning the family, gets to him. Just because Mr. Weasley doesn't abuse them doesn't mean they don't have their problems.

Everything with Draco had taught me a lot up to that point. Sure, we both still maintained our pretenses of the perfect lives, but it really was nice to talk to someone. I didn't completely avoid the subject anymore, and I started realizing for myself that life isn't perfect. In Draco's case, I knew people would find out. Powerful wizards like Lucius Malfoy don't go to Azkaban without the press getting ahold of it.

I just knew I'd have to be there for him when it happened. For now, though, I had nothing to do but sit and wait for the sentence.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Hopefully this chapter wasn't too emotional, but I think it was fairly realistic. Even the people who seem the strongest can break from time to time. Anyway, please review. Thanks!**

**Also--question for you all. Should I wrap this up in the next chapter, which was the original plan, or should I continue on a bit after the trial is over? Let me know what you think!**


	7. Telling Her

**Every character within this story belongs to J.K. Rowling, as well as Hogwarts, Veritaserum, and any other random references to the books. You know, in case you didn't know. **

As anyone could have guessed, Lucius got the life sentence in Azkaban. Even in the wizarding world, trying to off your own son doesn't do much for the public interest. As you can tell, I wasn't exactly too sympathetic for Lucius. I mean, he clearly deserved it.

It was Draco I was worried about.

Ever since the trial, he had been so quiet. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself, and nothing I did seemed to help. We went on walks, but they were usually silent. Somehow I knew my company helped, but I didn't know what to say to him.

The students at Hogwarts found out as soon as the trial was over. The tabloids all covered it in great detail, and reporters were practically knocking down the school doors for a statement. It wasn't every day that such a powerful family received such a blow.

Our friendship was still unknown, so I couldn't do much to help him in public. That also meant that Ron and Harry didn't know not to talk about him in front of me.

"Mate, can you believe it?" Ron asked Harry, incredulous, on the day the papers came out.

"Yeah, I know!" Harry exclaimed. "That git Malfoy was getting what he deserved all along!"

"Oh, shove it, both of you," I nearly growled. "You don't have any bloody idea what you're talking about." Without another word, I left them both speechless.

* * *

At dinner on the night of the press release, it was all I could do not to just go to the Slytherin table to console Draco. He looked so completely out of it. I saw all the people giving him all the either sympathetic or self-righteous looks, and I couldn't handle it. I wondered how he could. 

"So, erm, Hermione..." Ron said carefully.

"What?" I asked coldly.

"That is, uh..."

"What was that about, earlier?" Harry cut in.

"What was what about?"

"You know, you defending Malfoy," Harry replied.

"Yeah," Ron chimed in. "It's almost like you two were friends or something."

"It's nothing," I said quietly.

"But, 'Mione," Harry said. "You cursed."

I couldn't help but smile a little. "Yeah," I replied, "so what if I did?"

They both just looked at me, astonished.

"You know," I said, "maybe you two don't know me quite as well as you think you do."

Neither one said anything.

"And you know? Maybe I understand a little bit of what he's going through."

I ignored their confused looks and refused to discuss it any further. I just knew I had to talk to Draco.

* * *

I got my chance the next day at the lake. He was sitting quietly, watching the water. 

"Draco?" I said softly, approaching him.

"Hey, Hermione," he said sadly. I sat in the grass beside him.

"You okay?" I asked.

"As okay as can be expected," he responded.

I gave him a sad smile and put my arm around him. He allowed me to place his head on my shoulder, and he sighed. "You know, I just don't know," he said.

"Yeah..." I said quietly, running my fingers through his hair. "It's tough."

"That's one way to say it," he said just as quietly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He sighed deeply. "Normally, no." He paused. "But at the moment, honestly, I don't know."

"Well," I said softly, continuing to play with his hair, "you know I'm here if you need me."

"Yeah," he said, "I know." He relaxed into me, and I noticed his breathing come a little more easily.

He turned to me. "Thank you, Hermione."

I smiled. "No need to thank me. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," he said softly, nodding.

We stayed that way until dinner, with him leaning against me and me running my fingers through his hair. By dinner time, he seemed a little more relaxed.

* * *

Dinner that night was awkward. Harry and Ron just kept looking at me. Ginny was doing it too, so I knew they had talked to her. We all ate primarily in silence, and the silence itself just enhanced the awkward nature. I think we were all relieved when it was over. 

Back in the common room, I was content reading quietly to myself.

"Hermione?" Ginny said quietly, almost as though she were afraid.

"Yeah, Ginny?" I replied.

"So, Harry and Ron told me about earlier..." she started. When I didn't reply, she added, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She was looking at me so earnestly I couldn't be mad, so I just sighed. "I don't know, Gin," I said quietly. "It's not exactly something I talk about every day."

"Well you know you can talk to me," she said.

"Yeah, I know," I replied.

I studied her quietly fora moment. She looked so innocent,and I knew she was trustworthy...

Did I really want someone else to know, though? I had fought so hard to keep it a secret, but being myself with Draco felt so good... Maybe I could get that sincerity somewhere else, too?

I sighed deeply. "Okay." I resigned myself to tell her. And so I did.

She was shocked, but that was really no surprise to me.

"'Mione, I'm sooo sorry," she said sweetly, and I tolerated her sympathy as much as possible. "I had no idea!"

"Yeah, I know." I paused, thinking on the past few months. "I wanted it that way." At that moment, I couldn't remember exactly why I hadn't wanted my best friends to know.

After a bit longer of her near crooning and my attempts to pacify her (girl talk always seems to get that way, and I somehow missed Draco's straight forward approach...), I finally asked the question I had been most worried about:

"Do you think of me any differently now?" I couldn't bear to look at her right after asking. Her silence almost killed me.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed, once she had composed herself. "It's most certainly not your fault."

I hugged her instantly.

"Well honestly, Honey, it's not like you can control things like that," she said. Holding me by the arms, she looked at me and asked, "So why would you even think I'd think of you differently?"

I shrugged. "Just one of those things, I guess."

"Hm." She seemed to consider something for a moment. Then, "Did Malfoy think of you differently when you told him?"

I looked at her in shock.

"Hermione, Darling, I'm not stupid." She looked at me with her hands on her hips. "I've figured out by now that that's why you've been standing up for him."

I shrugged again, then told her he hadn't thought of me any differently at all. "Well," I added, "it's like I told the boys: Maybe I understand what he's going through."

* * *

**A/N: Please let me know what you think! And yes, I've decided to extend the story at least a little longer. Wrapping it up in this chapter just rushed the plot too much.**


	8. Story Time

**Yep, J.K. Rowling's. **

Telling Ginny was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. I believe it was the first time I had ever truly faced it, regardless of getting legal help. I mean, there's something in telling one of your best friends out loud that just makes it more... real, somehow. As much as I hated to admit it, that felt good. Healthy, maybe. Like somehow it really wasn't my fault, and it wasn't just because I did stupid things that he hit me.

Deep down, though, I knew I didn't quite believe that. Those early days of abuse never went away, and I'm still not sure they will. The physical scars are long gone, but it's the emotional ones you have to worry about. It was those emotional ones that I had never before even acknowledged. I still didn't want to. Even in telling Ginny, I hadn't said anything about what it had done to me. I told the story, and I left it at that: a story.

It was a sad one, no doubt, but a story nonetheless. It was like it had happened to someone else.

One day out near the lake, Draco and I discussed all this.

"I know what you mean," he said. "With me, it's like one big newspaper article and I'm the main feature."

"I'm the main character of my own muggle movie," I added.

"Is this normal?" I asked quietly, looking down.

He laughed softly. "Hermione," he said, "I think both of us surpassed 'normal' a long, long time ago."

I laughed in return, pushing him softly. "Whatever, Draco," I said. "Speak for yourself."

"No, thank you," he said, then rolled his eyes. "I've been doing that enough with all the reporters around."

"Good point."

We sat in silence for a little while, comfortably leaning on one another. We had gotten much more used to physically comforting each other since the trial. Somehow, physical comfort seemed to alleviate the physical pain. I didn't stop to think about what sort of emotional comfort might be necessary to alleviate all of it. There was no way I was going to admit needing that quite yet.

"What are you thinking about?" Draco asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't really know," I said. Then I paused. "Do you think I should tell more people?"

He laughed. "It'd certainly take some of the pressure off me if you did."

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I guess so."

We sat in silence a bit longer. "So," I said finally, "is it easier at all?"

"Is what easier?"

"Having them know."

He considered my question. "A little bit," he said slowly. "I mean, it sure takes the effort out of hiding it."

"I can imagine that," I responded, smiling.

"So," he said knowingly, "you're considering it, aren't you?"

I laughed softly. "You know me too well."

* * *

So I told them. One by one, in a series of quiet, personal conversations. I heard the rumors. I dealt.

By then, I knew how to deal.

I still made the grades, and I was still the smartest girl in class. Some were proud of me for saying something, others gave me pity, others were just shocked. Some wanted to hurt him, some wanted him to have received a more severe punishment, some didn't really seem to care either way.

In any manner, they knew. They knew my story.

I told it like one, too. I added moments of humor that were undoubtedly inappropriate; people found themselves laughing at abuse. I fed off their shock, and I almost enjoyed proving them wrong. They hadn't known anything about me, and I was starting to show them that.

As much as I knew it was bad, though, I still blocked it out. I refused to feel it.

It was just my story, and my parents were just my characters. I was the star, the poor heroine with the evil antagonist. As far as I was concerned, they deserved it. After all, they had made themselves the characters. I had to place the blame somewhere.

Ginny and I discussed it more thoroughly one day, much to my annoyance.

"Have you ever cried about it?" she asked.

Her question completely threw me. "What do you mean?" I asked in return.

"Have you ever, you know, cried about everything that went on?"

"I don't know," I said pretty roughly. I didn't much like the subject.

She looked at me in a concerned way, and I liked it even less.

"Look, Gin," I said matter-of-factly. "It happened. It's over. He has anger management now, and that's all there is to it."

"Right," she said quietly, looking unsure. "Whatever you say, 'Mione."

* * *

In my mind, that was all there was to it. It was in the past now. No more bruises to explain, no more hiding it. People knew, and that was all. That was all there could be.

Draco, I believe, was the same way. After the initial shock, he didn't say much. We were still incredibly open with one another if anything happened to come up, but it didn't seem to anymore. Instead, we focused on dealing in the aftermath.

"Have the reporters let up at all?" I asked one day.

"A bit," he said grimly. "Sometimes I wonder if they ever will completely."

"I'm sure they will sometime," I replied. "Sooner or later, a better story will come along."

"I suppose so," he said. "Until then, though, I remain the main feature."

I laughed softly at his irony.

The next irony in my life, though, was no laughing matter.

* * *

**A/N: Let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	9. Just Numb

**It's J.K. Rowling's. (A/N: Try to be nice with this one.)**

The day started normally enough. I woke up, showered, dressed, and went down to breakfast. The morning owls came, and I expected nothing as usual. When an owl I didn't recognize dropped a letter in front of me, at first I figured there must be some mistake. No post ever came for me. Seeing my name, however, I opened it. It looked official, so I figured it was some court document concerning my dad.

It read,

"_Miss Granger,_

_As your father is currently unable to contact you, your siblings have asked me to do so via owl. I most sorrowfully regret to inform you that your mother is currently in the care of the London Hospital following a domestic incident. She has suffered severe head trauma, lacerations in the throat, and a broken nose. Her condition is stable, although she remains in critical care. Your siblings have therefore requested that you remain in school for the duration of the term, as they are safe with your grandmother. Your father is currently in police custody awaiting the trial. I will write again to give you updates on her condition and his trial. Your mother's contact information at the hospital is attached. I greatly advise you not to contact your father at this time. Once again, I deeply regret informing you of such shocking news._

_Wishing you all the best,_

_Greg D. Claymoore, Psy. D._

_Anger Management Specialist._"

I sat there looking at the parchment for several minutes without blinking. Surely it was wrong. Surely that wasn't _my_ mother and father. There had to be some mistake.

He'd been improving.

I stood and left the Great Hall, loosely clinging to the parchment and leaving an untouched breakfast on the table.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Draco asked me in the hallway. He had seen my sudden departure and followed me out. Wordlessly, I handed him the letter. 

I registered him reading it, but all I did was stare at the floor. I wasn't sure I was able to speak.

"Aww, Hermione," he said softly, pulling me into a hug. I vaguely noticed how out of character it was, but I didn't care. Students began walking by, and he kept hugging me. They were looking at us. I didn't care.

That day, I walked up to the common room. Draco escorted me and told me to go to bed, that he'd explain everything to my teachers. I was missing all my classes, and I didn't care.

I was just... numb. And yet somehow, I didn't even care about that.

* * *

I was that way for a long time. I hardly slept, and I hardly ate. The following days I went to classes, but I was just going through the motions. I took notes and remembered nothing. I gave a presentation of some sort. The paper said I received an A, but I don't remember giving it. 

I somewhat noticed those around me giving me odd looks. Aside from the presentation, I hadn't even spoken much. I quit talking in class. I vaguely noticed the awkward silences, but I didn't care about that, either.

I remember Draco being there.

That's really all I remember.

That, and my eyes. They were dark and cold, nearly black. It scared me to look in the mirror. Even my smile looked like a corpse in the glass, smiling an evil smile. Those dead eyes and that complete and utter suppression of any emotion I might have felt. The sparkle was gone, and that shocked me even more. I thought there had been a sparkle, even if I was just acting...

It was bad. It was bad, and it was hard, and I didn't feel any of it. And I think that was the worst part.

There were nights Draco just held me. Those nights varied. Some nights, I was silent, staring into space and not wanting to think. Others, I couldn't stop thinking. One night, I just broke.

"Why?" I asked quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Draco didn't seem to know what to say.

"Why did this happen? What is it about me and my life that makes it so wrong?" I didn't expect an answer, and he wasn't prepared to give one.

"It's not normal, you know," I said calmly. "_It's not normal_!" I shouted suddenly, shaking my head. "It's not normal and it's not fair and no one else has to put up with this crap. Even you. Your dad was in Azkaban before he could hurt her again." Draco said nothing.

"He was supposed to be getting better."

Then I completely snapped. It was like this well burst inside of me and I screamed and I shouted and all I kept thinking was it isn't normal and why does it happen to me and why won't it ever end and _he was supposed to be getting help!_

"Why didn't he get help?" I whispered, rocking back and forth in Draco's arms.

"Why?" He kissed me softly on the forehead and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Ssshhh..." he whispered. "Sssh."

"Draco, I'm so numb." I really couldn't feel it. "Why can't I feel it?"

In the latest hours of that night, Draco continued to hold me. I hadn't spoken for a long time.

Then: "Draco, I'm scared," I whispered. He ran his hands along my arms. "I'm so scared..."

A lone tear ran down my cheek.

And still, I didn't feel a thing.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Honestly, I'm a little insecure about this one. That's a lot of emotion packed into one chapter, and it hits a bit close to home in places. Anyway, let me know. Thanks.**


	10. Therapy

**It's J.K. Rowling's, except the plot. That's mine.**

I'm not sure how long I was that numb. The night I broke was one of the last nights, but I have no clue when it was. The whole time was one big blur, a nightmare where I couldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried. It had never been so serious before, and I didn't know what to do with it.

He almost killed her.

I didn't know that for sure until I got the last letter from his counselor. He described the incident in great detail, and I almost wished he hadn't. In any manner, I'll just say it wasn't that big of a mistake for my mom to make, and her "punishment" was nearly death. Aside from that, I'd really rather not go into details.

At the point I came out of my numbness, the trial was going on. They wanted me to testify. They wanted me to tell the judge and everyone exactly what it was my dad did to me. They wanted me to put him away for however long it was the judge would decide.

"I just don't know if I can do it," I said quietly to Draco.

"I know what you mean," he replied. "It was really hard for me, too."

I looked up at him. "You've been so good in all this," I said softly.

He smiled. "Yeah, well, you weren't too bad yourself." His smile turned to a smirk.

We sat in silence for a bit.

Then I sighed. "So, I should get a new kind of help, shouldn't I?" Draco knew what I meant: therapy. I'd avoided it for so long I didn't even want to think about it at this point. First no one knew, then it was my story, and now...? No way. I couldn't have them be real. That was just too much to take. Still, I let the question hang in the air.

He smiled at me and took my hand. "I think you already know the answer."

* * *

He was right as usual. Of course I knew. Let's face it: you don't go completely numb, have your eyes turn coal black, and not clearly remember a chunk of your life without realizing it's had an effect on you. My life had finally gotten to me. I didn't know how to go about it, though. I'd been closing all of that off for so long I didn't know any other way. I didn't feel emotions, and I had always been okay with that. I pretended well enough, and I was at least mildly content often enough. That was all there was, right? 

Even with my limited experience with anything emotional, I knew better. Pretending to care about people, as much as I wanted to genuinely care, wasn't the same as genuinely caring. Bottling things up for that long was only going to make it worse. But still, I didn't want it. So I, albeit very grudgingly, enrolled in my own therapy.

"So, have I been feeling depressed recently?" I asked Draco as I filled out the form.

"I'd say so," he replied, nodding.

"Okay, so on a scale of 1 to 5, exactly how depressed _have_ I been feeling?" I looked at him for the answer.

He laughed. "Hermione, I can't tell you that."

I pouted at him. "Well why not?"

He laughed again. "You know, you're cute when you pout."

I blushed furiously in response, which only elicited more laughter. Kissing me on the cheek he added, "But you should know the answers to those questions." I frowned at him. "Just answer them the best you can, okay?"

"Okay, fine," I grumbled.

A few moments later, I held up my paper. "So," I murmured, "We have a 3 for depressed because it wasn't really all _that _bad, a 2 for feeling inadequate because I haven't _really _been, a 5 for successful in school because I _did_ get that A..." Anyway, you get the idea.

"I finished it!" I exclaimed, looking at him for approval. "Aren't you proud of me?"

He laughed again, nodding. "Yep," he responded. "Bloody proud."

* * *

The appointment was awkward, to say the least. I went in, and she asked me a bunch of questions. Then, she sat there. I rambled to fill the silence, and she got my life story. Completely void of emotion, there was my story. At some point, I muttered something about emotions being wallowing in self pity. She raised her eyebrows at that. Aside from that moment, she nodded a few times, jotted notes on her little piece of parchment, and then stood when it was time for me to go. 

It seemed a complete waste.

We made casual conversation as we set up a next appointment time, and something almost hit me. I teared up a split second and then muttered something about PMS and quickly wiped my eyes. She remarked, "Oh, of course, because you couldn't feel any actual _emotion_, now could you?"

What.

I quickly left her office, but her question followed me out the door.

Of course I could feel emotions, if I wanted to. But why would I? That showed weakness, and Hermione Granger was not a weak girl. I never had been, and I never would be. No, I only didn't show them because I didn't want to. I, of course, had all capability to hide-I mean, show-emotion whenever I wanted.

I could feel, really.

I promised.

I lied.

* * *

In the following days, I knew it. 

Even with Draco, the real emotions weren't quite there. We had fallen into some sort of very close friendship, and yet I only had affection for him. After all we had been through, I couldn't love even him. He hadn't said anything about love at all, but somehow it bothered me that I couldn't. I should love my best friend, right?

I spent several days contemplating what she had said. Maybe I really couldn't feel emotion.

I talked to Draco about it. At this point, people had already figured out we were friends, so we didn't really have to meet in private locations anymore. We met at the front doors and walked the Hogwarts grounds.

"It makes sense, I guess," was his response.

"Do you ever get that way?" I asked.

"Sometimes." He paused. "You know, when things are too overwhelming, I just shut down."

"Like I did?"

He smiled. "Yeah," he replied, "I suppose it's a little like that."

I reached for his hand without really considering it first. He took my hand in his, and we continued our walk in silence.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. I know the plot's really slowing down now, but I think it's necessary. Thanks again for all the reviews. **


	11. Starting to Feel

**Yep, J.K. Rowling's.**

So, I decided to feel emotion. Consciously. And for once in my life, I had no idea where to start. I was thoroughly unused to not being successful in something. I realize that sounds conceited, but I really don't mean to be. I just... I don't know. I'm not used to failing.

I talked to the counselor, but she didn't help too much. She just said it was important to feel them, and told me to look into my past and decide what I felt about all of it. Yeah, great help that was.

_So... how do I feel?_ I wrote into my journal. _I feel... numb. Mildy content, I suppose. Yeah, life's fine. It doesn't matter that he just hurt her and... okay, I think I'm lying._ I decided to try it again. I tore it out and wadded up the piece of paper.

So, I started again. _I feel... like a robot. I'm looking in the mirror right now. The person looking back at me is... sad. She's frowning, and I snapped at someone earlier today. So that means I'm stressed. Yeah, that's it. I must feel stressed. I'm biting my lip. When people bite their lips, that's... nervousness? So, then, yes. I'm also feeling... nervous. Right. But nervous about what? Umm... this. Yeah. I'm nervous about having to think about how I feel. I feel... silly. I don't even want to be doing this. Why am I doing this? I don't want to and I don't need to and it's so dumb that I even have to just stare at this piece of paper and come up with a jumbled list of how I feel. Sure, I'm probably scared, and tired, and I just want it all to be over with. But there's just this disconnect between all those what I know I'm feelings and the actual feelings. And that doesn't even make sense._

Instead of wadding up that piece, though, I just closed the notebook. Discouraged at least for the moment, I decided to just find Draco and talk to him about it.

"It's so strange," I mused to him. "It's like I can say what the emotions are by what I know of what emotions look like, but I can't actual feel them." I paused, then looked at him. "Does that even make sense?"

"I suppose so," he said slowly. "I mean, if you've suppressed them for as long as you have, you might not recognize them anymore."

"True," I said. Thinking a bit more, I finally said, "Well, I don't know. It's like... there's something more there now." I paused, then added, "Once I relax, something's there."

He nodded.

"But I don't know what it is." I stopped again for a minute, then added, "It's just sort of this jumbled mess, and I can't tell one from the other."

"I've had that happen before," he said. "You know, when a lot happens at once."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's like I've never considered them before, so I don't know how to tell them apart or tell what they relate to."

He nodded again.

I went silent for a moment.

"Do you think I'll ever be okay?" I asked quietly, looking down.

He took my chin in his hands and raised my head so I'd look at him. My heart skipped a beat. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Hermione, you're a strong girl." He ran his thumb along my jawline and smiled. "You'll be fine."

I just hoped he was right again.

* * *

Therapy went okay for the next couple of times. I told her what was going on or filled her in on past things, and I left it at that. I tried to not say it like a story, but I guess I only succeeded half the time. One day, though, she took a slightly different approach. 

"No," she said firmly as I went to tell her what had happened that week. "I don't want to hear what happened. I want to hear how you _feel _about it."

I froze.

"Umm..." I managed.

I started a few sentences about the past week, but she always stopped me. She encouraged me to tell her how I_ felt_. It was all about _feelings_.

And my head was all jumbled. I felt like I was in this corner, trapped, and she was the one cornering me. I was in a little ball on her couch, not saying a word and peering over my legs at her. I didn't know what to say, and all these words came to mind but I couldn't say any of them.

I was scared, and I had no idea why I would be scared. It was completely and totally irrational, but it happened and it's true.

I left her office that day completely shaken.

But you know what? That night I wrote one of the most emotional journal entries I had written to date. And strangely, even though it scared me, I kinda liked it.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's so short, guys, but I wanted to get something on here and I didn't want to add things I don't really take time to do. Anyway, let me know what you think. Thanks!**

**PS-If anything ever seems unrealistic, let me know. Just so you know, though, I do know from personal experience that things like what Hermione's going through do happen. I might go into that more later.**


	12. A Little Confession

**Yep, all but the plot: J.K. Rowling's. The plot, though, is becoming even more mine as I go.**

I decided to start a project. This one wouldn't be for a grade, but I suppose I was beginning to realize mental health is important. I had run toward school for so long as a distraction from my life that I never stopped to think maybe school wasn't everything. I still couldn't even believe I didn't think school was everything.

Anyway, my project. I decided to go through, methodically, every person or event in my life that still bothered me. But instead of telling the story of what happened, I decided to tell what effects it had on me. As in, how it shaped who I was. And how I still felt about them.

I won't lie; it was _hard_. I started with siblings because they weren't as traumatic. I talked about our little fights when I was a kid, and what they did to me and how I felt about my siblings at the moment I was writing. I wrote,

_I really am worried about them and their safety. I'm afraid maybe my going to Hogwarts will make me miss out on important moments in their lives that I don't want to miss. I'm afraid maybe somehow it was my fault that they had to be there alone when Dad did all thosethings to my mom. I'm happy I helped get them help, but I'm worried maybe they didn't benefit from it as much as I wanted them to..._

Each thought and feeling took precise concentration, and it was almost like I controlled being able to feel it as much as I had controlled not wanting to. Only, of course, I had much more practice with not feeling.

The counselor told me it was normal for me to suppress all those emotions when I was younger. She called it survival. Actually, she talked an awful lot about survival. Somehow, though, I had decided I didn't just want to _survive_ anymore. I didn't want my life to be just another chapter in my story. I wanted it to be _real_.

When I think back on it, it really was quite a change.

* * *

I'll admit my grades suffered a bit. Some nights, there was so much to figure out that I just didn't have time for the homework I used to do. I'd sit in the common room and write and write, and sometimes I'd even cry. 

The day I wrote about my mom, I cried a lot. They were heaving sobs, and I didn't really know how to stop. So I just cried and cried, and I let it all out. I wrote about each and every moment with her. The hugs, the laughs, all those good times and how good she was to all of us. But I also wrote about the bad. How I felt knowing she was hurt, the look on her face when he'd hit us, how much she came to our defense each and every time, knowing she'd be next...

"'Mione, Sweetheart, are you okay?" came a female voice, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I looked up, knowing full well my face was tear-stained and my eyes probably showed my pain. Seeing the concern on Ginny's face, I quickly looked back down and muttered, "Yeah, Gin. I'll be fine."

She smiled sadly. "Sorry," she said, "but I don't buy it."

She sat next to me.

"Talk to me," she said, looking into my eyes.

But I couldn't bring myself to speak. There was just too much there. Instead, I handed her the journal.

I watched her read it, and I saw the red starting to form around her eyes. She teared up, and she actually cried. Part of me scoffed at her weakness, but that part was rapidly becoming less prominent.

So instead of just fleeing the scene like I usually would have in that situation, I watched her read. And then, once she was finished reading, when she looked up at me, I hugged her.

And it was one of the most genuine hugs I have ever given.

* * *

I saw Draco later that day. Our walks on the Hogwarts grounds had become more frequent since the weather had begun getting warmer, and we both seemed to enjoy them. These days we talked a lot about my progress, since that was essentially my life for the moment. 

"So, how's everything going?" he asked as we started our walk that day.

"Actually," I said, "it's going quite well."

He smiled. "That's good to hear."

"I talked to Ginny today," I said cautiously.

"Really?" he said somewhat carefully. "About what?"

"Just, you know, everything that's been going on recently."

"Yeah." He seemed to be thinking for a moment. "So, she's one of your best friends, isn't she?"

"Yeah, Draco, she is," I replied, and I tried to keep the warning out of my tone of voice.

He was silent for a little while, then he finally said, "Okay. So I suppose that means I should be a little nicer to her?"

I laughed softly. "Yeah," I replied. "Even though it just might kill you."

He shoved me playfully. "Shove it, Granger," he warned in a joking tone.

"Whatever, _Malfoy_," I replied, with special emphasis on his last name.

He reached over without warning and tickled my side a bit. I retaliated, and soon we were on the ground, both laughing and out of breath. He leaned over, and he was _right there_. Right next to me. He smelled really good. I tried to keep my heart from pounding too very much as he said, "You know what, Granger?"

"What's that?" I replied, still a little breathless.

"I think I kinda like you."

I smiled. "Yeah, Malfoy, I think I kinda like you, too."

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. I'll try to write tomorrow, but given it's our country's independence day and I have plans with family, I might not have time. Just letting you know. Thanks!**


	13. Astronomy Tower

**Yep, all but the plot is J.K. Rowling's. **

I could scarcely believe it. Draco liked me! I mean, I guess I should have figured. He had been a lot more touchy, but I don't know. There's just something in him saying it that made it that much more real. As for me, I don't know for sure that I had even known I liked him until he said it. At that point, though, it only seemed natural to say it back.

However, I had no idea where to go from there. I still had so much to work out, and there was the matter of that whole Pureblood/Muggle born thing...

Anyway, it was a little complicated. But I was determined not to let it distract me... too much.

I continued on in my project.

I had also expanded it to include the emotions themselves. I realized there were a lot of emotions I hadn't even remembered feeling since I was much, much younger. They were the socially unacceptable ones, which makes some sense. My family liked to keep up appearances even if we were falling apart, and so emotions like anger and resentment were just not allowed. So, I shoved them to the side and continued to tell myself I'd deal with them later.

When I think about it, I did that a lot. Mental health was so low on my priority list, almost everything was an "I'll deal with it later." I always had a paper to do, or a speech to prepare, or something to read... or anything, really, that would distract me long enough for me not to notice.

Back before I got my Hogwarts letter, I was in a muggle public school. These nice policemen came into my class one day, and they had us all fill out these stress tests. Of course I was really young at the time, but I did as they asked. I remember my score coming back as something like 14 out of the 15 possible. A 10 was the beginning of the "too much stress" range.

I remember that day, one of the men told us all that if we had above 10, we should really watch it because stress was a bad thing. If we weren't careful, it would eat us alive from the inside. I remember thinking I was almost special for having that much stress in my life without it having eaten me from the inside. I remember being almost proud of being able to take it. Like I was that much stronger for being able to just tough it all out.

Now, though, I realize maybe the nice police officer was right, and I was just so caught up in ignoring it that I never noticed.

* * *

Ginny and I talked more frequently after I finally relaxed with her. She turned out to be a better friend than I thought. Sometimes, I'll admit, it was nice having a girl to talk to. Sure, I had to deal with all that emotional stuff with her, but I suppose I was beginning to become just a little emotional myself. Besides, it was nice being able to talk to someone about Draco. 

"So," she asked a few days later, "what's going on there, anyway?"

"I don't quite know," I replied. "He likes me... and I like him." I paused. "And I think that's about where we are right now."

"Hmm," she said. "So, you're not dating?"

"Not yet, anyway," I replied.

"Okay." Then her eyes widened. "Oh wait. Do Ron and Harry know about all this yet?"

I laughed. "Not quite."

"So, how are you going to tell them?"

I took a deep breath. Then, considering it a bit longer, I replied, "Very, very carefully."

* * *

As it turns out, I got my chance to tell them a little sooner than I had anticipated: that night. 

"Can you believe that git Malfoy?" Ron fumed, pacing the common room. Harry scoffed in response.

"I mean," Ron continued, his face so red he almost matched his hair. "The nerve of him!"

"So what did Draco do this time?" I asked impatiently.

"Draco!" was the unanimous reply.

I laughed for a minute, before I realized the intensity of their death glares. Then, "Yes, Draco," I replied. "Honestly, you two. Now what did he do?"

"He just... Oh, Harry, it's too much," Ron spat. "You tell her, mate."

"He ran into us in the hallway, and he gave us that smirk again," Harry seethed.

"He what?" I asked, incredulous.

"He ran into us" "_On purpose_!" "in the hallway" "_Really rough-like_" "and gave us that smirk" "_Bloody arse_!"

Though it was a little difficult to understand Harry with all of Ron's interjections, I got the picture. "Okay," I said. "So let me get this straight." They looked at me. "Draco Malfoy bumped into you in the hallway." They nodded. "And then," I continued, "he looked at you funny."

"Right," they replied.

"And you're this upset."

"Well, yeah," Harry said. "He was, like Ron said, being an arse."

I just shook my head. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe he was running late for a class or a meeting, was going too fast, accidentally ran into a body he didn't recognize, glared at it for being in his way, and continued?"

They just glared at me for a moment.

"Honestly you two," I said. "He's really not that bad."

"What!" was again my unanimous response. _They're doing well at talking in twos this evening_, I mused.

"He's really not that bad," I repeated. "Well, once you get to know him."

"And how, might I ask," questioned Ron, talking through his teeth, "would you know that?"

"Because," I responded in the same warning tone, "maybe I've gotten to know him."

I didn't even get a "what" for that one. They stood there, unblinking, for a full minute.

I couldn't help but laugh. "He's helped me with a lot," I said. "Surely you've noticed."

They didn't reply.

"...Or not." Still nothing but the glares.

"Anyway, Draco's become one of my friends," I continued. "And I know that might take some time to get used to." Still, it apparently warranted no reponse. "But you're going to have to, because he's a really good friend." Pausing to see if I was having any effect whatsoever, I added, "If for no other reason than just for me."

Sensing their utter shock at my standing up for Draco, not to mention -gasp- using his first name, I decided further conversation was useless. "So anyway," I said as I stood to leave, "let me know if you have any questions about it. Later."

With that, I walked out of the portrait hole to meet Draco.

* * *

We met that night at the astronomy tower. It was nearly time for bed, but we decided talking with the stars all around us could be fun. Besides, we were both model students. If anyone caught us, we could always say we just needed to do some research. 

"Hey there," Draco replied as I came in.

"Hey," I replied, a little shyly. After our romping in the grass, things were a little different.

He approached me almost immediately, greeting me with a warm hug. I hugged him back, breathing in his scent and closing my eyes. When I realized he wasn't planning on letting go immediately, I let my hands travel up and down his back. I felt him take a deep breath. He toyed with my hair as he held me, and I nearly melted on the spot.

Eventually, we released one another. I looked up at him, and his eyes were more genuine than I had ever seen them. They were a brighter blue, and they actually sparkled a bit.

"Come here," he said softly, taking my hand and leading me up to the roof. I followed.

When we reached the roof, it almost took my breath away. He had laid out several different kinds of drinks as well as a greater array of chocolate than I could ever eat in one sitting.

I looked at him questioningly, and he shrugged. "I didn't know what kinds you liked." Looking a bit sheepish, he added, "I suppose we've never discussed desserts."

I laughed softly, intertwining my fingers with his.

We talked a good portion of the night up there. I showed him what desserts I liked (and added that chocolate had been a very good choice), and then he walked me back to the Gryffindor tower.

We ended the night with another long hug. He didn't try to kiss me. There was a brief awkward moment where he seemed like he was thinking about it, but he didn't try. Just as well, I figured that could always come later. For some reason, I knew I didn't want to rush into it with him.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. I made it a bit longer since I couldn't write yesterday. Thanks!**


	14. The Trial

**Yep, it's all J.K. Rowling's, except the plot.**

Classes the next morning were rough, but it was worth it. My night with Draco had been amazing.

So, of course, I told Ginny every detail.

"Aww," she cooed at the end of my blatant gushing, "that's so _sweet_!"

"What's so sweet?" asked Ron, as he and Harry entered the common room.

Ginny looked at me. Considering it a moment before I spoke, I replied, "Draco."

And it was the silent glares all over again.

"Oh, shove off it," Ginny snapped.

Their glares shifted to her.

"Look," she said, "Hermione's happy. And if you two gits can't see that, well, you're even dumber than I thought."

With that, she stormed out, flipping her hair as she went.

The boys looked, surprisingly, crestfallen.

"Oh," Harry managed. Ron still said nothing.

"Ron. Harry." My voice was quiet as I addressed them. "I know you two don't like him."

Mutual scoffs.

"But I do." I paused. "A lot."

Mutual eye widening. At this point, I strongly began suspecting they shared a brain. But no mind. I continued.

"He makes me happy." I shrugged. "And we're not even dating, I just..." I finally realized his attraction. "He's good for me." Assessing their persistant silence, I added, "And it would really make me happy if you tried with him. Can you at least think about it?"

The silence seemed to go on forever.

Finally, Harry spoke. "Okay, 'Mione," he said, poking Ron in the side.

"Ow!" yelled Ron. Then, "Yeah, yeah," he muttered roughly, glaring at Harry. "I guess, you know, for you, we'll try."

Since I had a feeling that was the best I was going to get, I took it.

* * *

When the lawyer contacted me later that day, I had almost forgotten about the trial altogether. It hit then. Hard. 

I had an appointment with the counselor that afternoon.

Since I had finally started doing some work, I had decided she wasn't so bad. Sure, she probably talked too much about feelings and survival and how everything came back to me, but I probably needed it. I suppose.

"So how are you doing with everything?" she asked, counselor voice in full mode.

"I'm okay, I suppose," I said quietly. Then, rethinking it, I said, "No, wait." She looked up. "That's probably a lie."

Taking a deep breath, I continued. "I just don't know what to do anymore. There's just so much and it's so built up and I'm just getting through all of it, and now I have to face it again." My voice got even more quiet as I added, "It's just not fair."

She nodded. "Yes, you're right," she said softly. "It really isn't fair." I looked down. "You know," she said, "It makes me mad that he did this to you and put you in this situation. Does it make you mad?"

I knew that was a counseling ploy. At the same time, I hated that it worked. I felt tears form in my eyes, and I willed them to stop. They refused.

'"I suppose a little," I conceded. "But I think I'm just more upset with the situation than anything." She nodded.

And so I talked. I talked everything out with a counselor. And, well, it felt good. Healthy, somehow. I knew when I did, that she wouldn't tell anyone and she wouldn't judge me and for once, while I discussed all the evil things that happen in life with tears in my eyes, I didn't feel weak. I even liked it.

* * *

The trial was rough. Draco had offered to go with me, but I told him I didn't want to get him in the middle of it. 

"Hermione," he had stated, "I've been in the middle of it for a while now."

"Even so," I replied, "I just don't want to put you through it."

So he left it at that, and I found myself sitting on the cold wooden benches in the courtroom without him. As soon as the judge spoke, I knew I wanted him there.

Nonetheless, I survived the trial. It was hard. So hard I don't even want to go into all of it. I didn't look at him at all through my testimony. I didn't want to see his face as I told them. I told them I wouldn't mind seeing him sometimes, but that I didn't trust him to be alone with us. Especially when he drank.

I told them all of it. I cried. And I felt it.

In the end, they sent him to prison for attempted murder. He was supposed to get 20 years, but given the muggle system, he'd only serve 10 on good behavior. And, given other aspects of the muggle legal system, he might not even serve that. I could visit him when I wanted, but only under strict supervision.

And with that, the nightmare with him was over.

As soon as the officials took him out of the room, my siblings and my mom rushed to me. We hugged, kissed, and cried. Mom was okay, but it had been a close call. I was just glad to see her again.

I was back in Hogwarts the next day.

* * *

"So," Draco said, holding my hand as we walked the grounds, "how did it go with him?" 

I took a deep breath. "It wasn't terrible," I allowed. "I mean, I did speak, and I said everything I wanted to say." He nodded.

"I refused to look at him."

"Of course."

I looked up at him, surprised at his reply. "Well," he said, "I'd only assume as much." Ruffling my hair, he added, "Hermione, you forget." He paused. "I understand you."

And without thinking about it, I kissed him. Before I really knew what was happening, I had gone on my toes, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips to his. He immediately made a happy sound in the back of his throat and kissed me back. It was amazing. His lips were so soft, and our kissing styles complemented each other so well I could scarcely believe it.

I was lightheaded. If his arms hadn't been around my waist, I probably would've fallen right on the spot.

As much as I might have wanted him to, he didn't try to intensify the kiss at all. It was just soft, and sweet, and lingering, and I loved every bit of it.

As he softly pulled away, he muttered, "Wow." I breathed my consent. "What was that for?"

I laughed softly. "I don't know," I said. "I guess I've just wanted to for a while."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Just about every day, I've just wanted to scoop you up in my arms and kiss you like that."

I blushed furiously, unsure of what to say.

"But I figured you'd shove me away or something," he added, almost shyly.

Smiling, I replied, "Did that seem like shoving you away?"

He laughed. "Not so much," he said.

Then he kissed me again.

It was a while before we returned to the castle.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone, let me know what you think. I'll have at least one more chapter coming soon. **

**As for the camp I went to, it was good. I'm just going to do the replace feature for this chapter, though, so the author's note doesn't interrupt the story. **

**Anyway, thanks for being patient. Hopefully you all still like it!**


	15. Study Time

**A/N: For anyone who didn't notice, the chapter before this one has an actual chapter now. I used the replace text function so the note wouldn't interrupt the story. So if you haven't read it, please do! **

**As for the characters, setting, and all but the plot, it's J.K. Rowling's. Thanks.**

I was glad to have the trial over. As difficult as it is to talk about, I know I need to. Otherwise, I might never get better. I've discovered one thing about myself in all this. Sometimes, things do happen all at once. Hard family issues, and release from them, and friend issues, and romance... they can all collide and sometimes you don't know what to do with them. Sometimes I'm not sure if I ever will. They just come out in one big rush, and I just want to get over it already.

But I can't just keep going on, wishing for what I'm going through to be over. Waiting for finals to be over, waiting for OWLs to finish, waiting to get out of Hogwarts, waiting to move on to the next thing... I can't always live my life for the next thing, and I can't rush through the life I have. Sometimes, well, you just have to _live_ it.

I sound cheesy. That other part of me, that still doesn't like emotions, doesn't like when I talk like that. Part of me still wants to be away from everything. I still want to be removed, and I still want to just go away and not come back. I want the world to go on without me, and I want to take my time and do everything as I see fit. I still want to be their perfect girl, with the perfect life. I still want it to be my story.

But that's not real, and that's not healthy. And I do believe I'm finally starting to realize that.

* * *

Summer vacation was drawing near at Hogwarts. We were all going through our final exams, and I was overstudying as usual. This time, though, I was a little more relaxed. School really wasn't everything. Sometimes, relationships with people and my own health could be more important. That was taking a long time to figure out, but I was getting it. Slowly. 

Draco and I studied together a lot. Well, we mostly studied. There were always those moments where, well, hey, we had finally kissed. We did some more of that.

Anyway, one day when Draco and I were studying, Ginny came up to talk to me.

"Hey 'Mione," she said, taking a seat next to me.

"Hey Gin, what's going on?" I responded, looking up from my notes.

"Not a whole lot," she responded. "Just studying as usual." I nodded.

"Hey Ginny," Draco said politely.

Trying to hide her surprise, Ginny replied, "Hey Malfoy." Then, thinking for a moment, she added, "I mean, Draco."

He smiled at her correction.

"How are things?" she asked him.

"They're okay," he responded. "Studying like everyone else."

The conversation was slow, and it was mildly awkward, but it was a conversation. He didn't call her Little Weasel, and she didn't call him Ferret Face.

As they continued talking, Ginny shifted the focus to me. "So, Hermione," she said, "how's everything with your dad?"

I took a breath, then responded. "Not much different," I said. "He's still in jail. Mom has a restraining order now."

Ginny nodded. "A restraining order?" Draco questioned.

"It's a muggle thing." When he still looked at me expectantly, I continued. "It's a legal document that says he's not allowed around her anymore."

"And how do they enforce those if they don't have magic?" he asked.

I paused. "Well, they..." I realized I didn't have an incredibly good answer to that. "They just sort of trust him not to get near her, and then they punish him if he does."

"I see," he said, looking skeptical. "Sounds... safe."

I laughed a nervous laugh. "Yeah, well,"I said, "unfortunately, muggles don't have Azkaban." After a moment, I added, "Some muggles might have issues with a Kiss of Death."

Ginny laughed, while Malfoy continued to appear confused.

Patting him lightly on the back, I said, "Just don't worry about it."

He accepted it at that, given he didn't have much choice.

After that, the three of us sat quietly on the Hogwarts lawn, engrossed in our studies.

* * *

After our study session, the three of us walked in together to go eat. As soon as we walked inside the castle, though, we were greeted by two very unhappy blokes. 

"Ginny, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" were the first words from Ron.

"Well gee, Ron," she responded. "Nice to see you, too."

He was so angry, his ears were red. "Ginny," he repeated, "what the bloody hell are you doing with that git?"

Draco looked ready to pounce, so I put a hand on his shoulder to calm him. It only slightly worked.

"Ron," she replied calmly, "I only see one git around here." Motioning for us to follow as she continued walking, she added, "And that's you."

Harry hadn't said anything in the exchange. I wondered what he thought about all of it. Obviously, there was no need to ask Ron what he thought.

"Are you okay?" I asked Draco softly, as we walked away. He just nodded quickly.

I motioned for Ginny to go ahead. Then, holding his shoulders, I looked straight into his eyes. "Draco." He looked at me. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," he responded, softening a bit. Then, obviously considering his next words very carefully, he added, "You know, Hermione, I really like you." I blushed. "But I just don't like him."

I nodded. "I understand," I said softly. "But can you try to be civil, for me?"

Ignoring the stares from the students now surrounding us, he sighed and kissed me on the forehead. "Sure, Hermione," he said. "I'll try."

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	16. Productivity

**Yep, it's all J.K. Rowling's. Except the plot, that is. And I'm sure she'd be laughing at me if she read this right now. But anyway, carry on.**

Finals were right on top of all of us. Luckily, since I had gotten so ahead in the beginning of the year, I wasn't as far behind as I might have been. Still, though, I was nervous. I was, for the first time in my life, afraid of doing badly in school. There was this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it just wouldn't go away.

"Hermione," Draco said gently, as we walked the Hogwarts grounds on a study break, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied quietly.

"Are you sure?" He paused, took my chin in his hand, and guided my eyes to his. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I sighed deeply. "I know," I said. Taking a deep breath, I spoke. "I guess I'm just..." I looked down, ashamed. "I'm afraid I won't do well."

He laughed gently. "Hermione, you've been studying all week," he said. "I'm sure you'll do great."

Gathering courage and looking up again, I said, "And if I don't?"

He kissed me softly. "You'll do great," he repeated firmly.

I sighed again. "Okay, Draco," I replied, "if you say so."

But deep down, I still didn't believe it.

* * *

With all the finals confusion, I could hardly stand any more. Unfortunately, Ron didn't see it that way. 

"So," he said to me one day, "over the git yet?"

I just rolled my eyes. "Ronald," I replied, "if you'd give him maybe half a chance, you'd realize he's not as bad as you think."

"And how can you be so sure he's better?" He looked more skeptical than I had seen him in quite a while.

"How can you be so sure he's not?"

He paused for a moment, seeming to consider my question. Then he said, "Hermione, he's been evil to all of us all this time during Hogwarts. Why would he change now?"

"For the same reason I am," I replied, more to myself than him.

He appeared confused, so I continued. "Look, Ron," I said, "it's been a really tough year for all of us. But I don't think you understand just how much Draco and I have gone through."

He glared at me again, I can only assume for using Draco's first name.

"I can't really expect you to completely understand," I continued, hesitantly. "It's just..." I couldn't really think of how to put it into words. So I just decided to tell him all of it, since I'd figured it out.

"Ever since you've known me, I've been a good little girl who gets all the good grades, right?"

"Well, yeah," he said.

"And ever since you'd known Draco, he's been an insufferable git who loved nothing more than to torture you and everyone he deemed less than himself, right?"

"In a phrase, yeah," he muttered.

"Well, we all put up fronts. We all have this side to us know one ever sees, and sometimes we hide it so well from the world that we get lost in it ourselves." As I spoke, I realized it was something I needed to face anyway. Thus, I continued. "For me, my front was my intelligence. I made it my entire life, and I focused all my energy on school. It was my solace from home, and I relied on it to get me away."

He nodded.

"For Draco, his front was, well, frankly, being that git." Ron scoffed. "No, listen," I said earnestly. "He knew that was the only way his father could possibly accept him. It was all he had ever known, and he didn't see any way to get out of it." Hesitating slightly, I added, "There were many times when I tried to get help for him and all he kept asking was 'Who would want to go up against Lucius Malfoy?'"

I tried to gauge Ron's reaction, but there wasn't too much to see. He wasn't completely ignoring me, but I couldn't be certain he was listening, either.

"In a phrase," I continued, "he was afraid. He was afraid of his father, so he gave in to it. Then, after a while, he bought it himself."

Ron was still silent, though not completely unreceptive. "Does that make sense?"

He glared at me for a few more minutes, then sighed in a defeated sort of way. "I guess so," he said sullenly.

He seemed to be considering something more, so I waited for him to speak. Finally, he said, "So, I guess there'll never be an 'us,' huh?"

I froze. That was certainly unexpected. "Well, Ron," I said carefully, "you never told me you wanted one."

"Well, I'd have thought it was bloody obvious."

I smiled at him, as gently as I could. "I'm sorry Ron," I said softly. "But I don't think so."

He nodded gruffly. "I figured," he said. "But hey, doesn't hurt to ask, right?"

I laughed. "No, I suppose not."

"Right then," he said. "I suppose I should leave you to Malfoy, then?" He didn't hide the disdain very well, but I figured it was as close to a truce as we'd ever get.

"Well," I said, "you could always stay a friend."

"Right then," he said again. "I guess that'll have to do."

He stayed clear of me for a few days after that conversation, but then he seemed a bit better. He still scowled at Draco every time he saw him, but now he kept his comments to himself. I figured that was about all I could ask.

* * *

Harry was a slightly different story. He didn't quite seem to know what to do with himself. Any time he saw me with Draco, he scowled at him. Then he'd look at me and soften a bit. It was one of the oddest things I'd ever witnessed. 

"So what's wrong with the Golden Boy?" Draco asked after one of Harry's moments.

I just glared.

"Or, I mean..." he faultered. He gulped. "That is... Harry." He seemed to almost choke over Harry's first name, but at least he had said it.

I smiled at him for his efforts. "I don't really know," I said. "I should probably talk to him about it."

"Yeah," he said.

We sat in silence for a while.

"Hey," Draco said suddenly, "what if I talked to him?"

I blinked at him, speechless.

He laughed at my reaction, then said, "No, I'm serious. Would it help?"

I blinked a few more times, trying to gather my thoughts. "Okay," I said finally. "Let me get this straight. You, Draco Malfoy, heir to the Pureblood throne, want to talk to Harry Potter, a.k.a. Potty or the Golden Boy, about dating me, the Mudblood?" He nodded, obviously trying to ignore all my type casting. "And you're _not_ planning on killing him at the end of it?"

"Not if you don't want me to," he said simply.

I was speechless. Then I laughed. I laughed probably more than was called for given the situation. "My," I said through my giggles, "how a year can change a person."

Unable to help himself, Draco joined me in laughing. "Yeah, yeah," he said. "That it can." He took my hand in his, looking into my eyes. I faultered slightly, blushing. Trying desperately to ignore the mushy moment, I continued.

"So," I said skeptically, "you really think this will help?"

"Well," he replied, "it can't hurt, can it?"

"Much," I added. "You meant to say it can't hurt _much_."

"Right," he agreed. "So what do you think?"

"Sure Draco," I said finally. "Do as you see fit."

In all reality, though, I was probably as skeptical as "The Golden Boy" himself would have been. Had he known, that is. Somehow, for once I was glad he was clueless.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	17. Truce

**Yep, J.K. Rowling's. **

Of course Draco would never admit it, but I knew he had no clue how to talk to Harry about anything besides hexing one another. Nonetheless, he tried. Ginny told me about all of it later.

He walked up to Harry, and Harry, of course, backed away. "What do you want, Malfoy?" he asked, wand ready.

"Look, Potter," Draco replied. "If it were up to me, I'd hex you right now."

Harry was, as expected, not appreciative of the comment. But Draco continued. "However, it's not," he said matter-of-factly. "See Potter, you and I have something in common."

"And what's that, Malfoy?"

"Hermione."

With that, Harry's wand dropped. "Why don't you just leave her be?" he asked.

"I can't."

"And why not?"

"I..." Draco shook his head. "I just can't."

"Okay," Harry said gruffly. "So what do you want with me then?"

"It's not what I want, like I said before. It's Hermione."

"Right then." Harry wasn't convinced. "What does _Hermione_ want then?"

"For me not to hex you right now." Silence. Looking at the wand, Draco added, "And for you to refrain from hexing me as well."

"Fair enough," Harry replied. More awkward silence. "But I know that's not why you came to me. You don't just come to someone just to tell them you're not going to hex them."

"True." They stared at one another for a few moments.

"Okay, Potter, here's the deal," Draco tried again. "Hermione has this crazy idea that you and I... well..." He fell silent.

"Spit it out, Malfoy," Harry said.

"The girl wants us to get along," Draco said quickly. "I mean, well, that is..."

"Not hex each other?"

"Right."

More silence. As Ginny told me about all of it, I was glad I hadn't been there to witness them in all their awkwardness.

"And what do you think about this?" Harry asked. "I mean, not that I really care what you think," he said quickly, "but I suppose it's a polite enough question."

"Right," Draco replied. He thought for a moment, then responded with an eloquent: "I don't know."

"Right then," said Harry. "Is that all?" He turned to leave.

"Potter, hold it for a minute."

"What?" Harry demanded.

"Look, Hermione and I, we, well, we fancy each other."

"So I've noticed."

"And you're her friend."

"That I am."

"So, that is..." Draco was typically much better with words, but we're talking about a bloke who could scarcely say Harry's first name. A truce with Harry was not even within his framework.

"What, Malfoy?" Harry repeated.

"Look, you want the girl to be happy, right?" Draco tried.

"Yes," Harry responded, "I do."

"Well, you see," Draco continued, "I make her happy."

"And how's that?"

"Can't you see it?"

Harry didn't respond for a moment. Then, finally, "I suppose she is a little brighter when you're around. For whatever reason."

"Right," Draco said. "And she's bright when you are, too. For whatever reason."

"Right."

"So."

"So what?"

"Just get over it and call it a truce already," came a female voice from around the corner.

"Ginny?" Harry asked, incredulous.

"Yes, Harry?" she said.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you two to just get over it already," she responded, hands on her hips. "Look, he was mean. You were mean. Now neither of you are mean. Get over it."

The boys looked at each other for a moment.

"Look, Potter," Draco said. "If it weren't for Hermione, you'd never catch me doing this." He extended his hand to Harry.

Harry looked at it for a moment, as if perhaps it was some sort of trick. Then finally, he shook it. "Right," he said.

"Finally," Ginny said, earning herself glares from both.

Personally, I'm surprised the world didn't split apart at that exact moment. But it didn't, and I live to tell this story. And, for that matter, so do they. Quite a surprising turn of events, if you ask me.

* * *

After that, it was a little easier at Hogwarts. We still received plenty of glares, and Draco's friends were another matter entirely, but we were finally free to focus on our studies. Given finals were the next day, I needed all the time I could get. 

The night of their conversation, if you could call it that, Draco and I studied together.

"So what's up with Potter and the little Weasley?" Draco asked. Given he'd at least used names instead of cruelty, I let it slide.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly confused.

"He hates me," he said frankly.

"Right," I said.

"But as soon as she told him to call a truce with me, he did."

"Ginny just has that way about her," I said. "She can make anyone do anything, pretty much."

"I don't think that's it," he said.

"What do you think it is, then?" I asked.

"I think maybe..." he started. "Well, actually, that's none of my business."

"What?" I asked.

"They..." He cringed slightly, but continued regardless. "They seem to _fancy_ each other."

I laughed."Well of course they do," I responded. "But good luck telling them that."

"You mean to say they don't know?" he said.

"Right," I replied. "They don't have a clue."

"Hm," he said. Then he seemed content to leave it at that. For my part, though, he had aroused my curiousity. I mean, if Draco had noticed, was it possible they had, too?

* * *

I had to put that out of my mind for the time being, though, seeing as I had to study. I studied more than ever that night, and Draco had to nearly pry me away from my books to get me to bed. It seemed my motivation for school had returned, and just in time. Or so I hoped. 

As it turns out, it had. I took each of those finals the next day, and I did well on each of them. I understood all of the material, and I answered every question on the tests. I was certain to pass, and for the first time in a while, there was a little relief in my life.

It was exciting.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	18. Official

**Yep, J.K. Rowling's. **

With finals over, all that was left was packing. Packing, going home, and all that. I'll admit that I was scared. I didn't know what to do at the thought of leaving all my friends. I didn't know what I would be going home to. I didn't know how things would be different without my dad. I didn't know what to do with my family anymore, and I didn't know what to do with my relationship, or whatever it was, with Draco.

For yet another time that year, I just didn't know.

I talked to Ginny about all of it as we packed.

"So, are you scared?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied, without much of a second thought.

She just nodded, then continued packing.

The silence got to me, and I told her. I told her everything I was afraid of, and in the end, there were tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Aww, Hermione," she said sweetly, wrapping me in a hug.

Wiping my eyes and calming a bit, I looked at her. "So what about you?" I asked, sniffling a bit.

"What do you mean?"

I allowed myself a small smile. "Harry," I said simply.

She blushed a deep crimson. "What about Harry?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Is he staying at the burrow this summer?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"And of course you're staying there, right?"

"Well, yeah," she said. "What's your point?"

"So will there be any, you know..." I trailed off, giving her a knowing look.

She smiled a small, shy smile. "Hermione Granger," she said in a mock haughty voice, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right..." I said knowingly.

"Whatever," she said.

And for the first time in a while, I was right.

* * *

When we finished packing, we went down to the common room. Harry and Ron were there, and as soon as we entered, their eyes locked. She did a cute little blush, and he gave a little half-smile. At that moment, I knew they had noticed. 

Hence, I engaged Ron in conversation.

"So, Ron," I said pleasantly, "how's the packing going?"

"Just now finished," he responded. "How are things with the Ferret?"

"Going quite well, actually," I replied, ignoring his terminology.

"I see," he said, not unkindly.

"So, Harry," Ginny said sweetly, "have you finished all your packing yet?"

"Yes," he responded, smiling openly. "You?"

"Just finished," she replied.

It was clear to everyone but the two of them just how much they were not discussing packing.

"Oh, just bloody ask her, mate," Ron declared, interrupting their conversation.

All eyes turned to him.

"Oh, come on," he said. "It's not like it isn't bloody obvious."

I giggled, and the eyes switched to me. "Well, it's true," I muttered, covering my hand to hide my laughter.

I noticed Ginny looking at Harry expectantly, like he was the only person in the room. Once he finally looked at her, he seemed to notice.

At that, I took my leave. Ron took his cue from me, and the two remained in the common room alone.

* * *

I went for a walk with Draco that night. Usually we tried to refrain from walking in the dark, given it was illegal and often dangerous, but that night was different. It was, after all, our last night at Hogwarts for the year. 

"So, last night," Draco commented, pausing to look at me.

"That it is," I responded, unsure of what else to say.

"So what are your summer plans?" he asked.

"The usual," I replied. "Going home, relaxing a bit, doing some reading, that sort of thing. Yours?"

"The usual," he responded. "Going home, relaxing, maybe visiting a friend or two." He squeezed my hand slightly.

"Which friends?" I asked coyly, though I was sure I knew the answer.

"Maybe Crabbe, maybe Goyle," he responded. "Maybe even Blaise, if he's lucky."

"I see," I said, slightly disappointed.

"Might visit a girlfriend or something, too," he said softly.

My heart virtually stopped. "A girlfriend?"

"Well, if she'll have me, that is," he replied. He looked at me intently, his eyes softer than usual. "Do you think she will?"

Choking ever so slightly on my words, I responded, "She might."

"I see."

The moment of silence went far too long. Then, "So, Hermione," he said. "What do you think?"

Only allowing my smile to betray me a little bit, I responded, "About what?"

He laughed. "Being my girlfriend," he replied.

"Ah," I said, as if I hadn't known. Then nodding slowly, I said, "You know, I think I could do that."

He smiled broadly. "Good."

I laughed at his response. "Yeah, good," I agreed.

He kissed me softly, and I was reminded yet again of how much our lips molded together when we kissed.

When we broke apart, I was surprised to find tears in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking concerned.

"I'm not sure," I said, incredulous. "Just emotional, I guess."

He laughed. "Well, better emotional than not."

I laughed in response. "Yeah," I agreed. "I suppose so."

We walked the grounds until we were both nearly falling over from exhaustion, and then we returned to the castle. He walked me to the Gryffindor tower, and we kissed goodnight. Then I slept in my bed for the last time that year. And it had been one crazy year.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think. Only a few more chapters to go. **


	19. The Hogwarts Express

**All J.K. Rowling's. Because, hey, she thought of it first.**

The next morning was our last breakfast in the Great Hall. We ate quietly for the most part, except the occasional request for passing food. Harry and Ginny sat next to one another, gazing at each other all morning. When they rose from the table, their fingers were intertwined.

"Well, we're headed to the train," Harry said. "Ready to go?"

"I'll catch up with you," I said, eyeing the rest of my breakfast. It wasn't really that appetizing this morning, but I figured I should try.

"Same here," Ron responded.

"Right then," said Harry. "See you there."

With that, they left, hand in hand and whispering to one another.

"So I suppose it worked, then," Ron said, his eyes following the couple out.

"Yeah, I suppose so," I said.

"So, 'Mione," he started, then paused.

"Yes, Ron?" I questioned.

"How are things with, you know, Malfoy or whatever?" It was extremely awkward, but I figured he was at least trying.

"They're good, actually," I responded, smiling. "Thank you for asking."

He grunted in response. Then, "So will you sit with him on the train, then?"

I thought a moment. I'd considered it for a little while, but I still wasn't sure. "I'd like to, yes," I responded.

"I see." He looked slightly disappointed, but his face brightened soon after. "So, a whole summer without classes," he said.

"And without me ordering you to do your homework," I added.

"Exactly."

I smiled, and then I knew things might be okay with Ron. Sure, it'd take him some time to get used to me with Draco, but he'd eventually get over it. I believe he was already beginning to do just that.

* * *

I met with Draco on the train. "So, are we sitting together, then?" he asked in a mildly awkward tone. 

"We can if you'd like," I responded.

His fingers intertwined with mine. "I think so," he said.

We found a free compartment and sat on the same seat. As soon as we were comfortable, I leaned my head on his shoulder. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me on top of my head.

"I love you, Hermione," he murmured into my hair.

I stiffened for a split second, not sure he had actually said that. Thoughts flashed through my head in rapid succession. We'd been together for so long yet not long at all, we'd been through so much in such a short time, I could barely feel affection just months ago, we'd hated each other a year ago, what would Ron and Harry say, what will my parents do, he really, actually loves me... And the prevailing one: I felt the same.

"I love you too, Draco," I said quietly.

He reached under my chin, brought my face to his, and kissed me. I thought I detected the slight hint of tears in his eyes when we separated, but I said nothing. I also thought I felt the slight hint of them in my own, but he didn't comment. I determined it was likely too soon for that.

* * *

Ginny told me later that summer about the train ride with Ron and Harry. 

"The dynamic was so different now that Harry and I are together," she told me.

"Congratulations on that, by the way," I said.

"Thanks," she said, blushing slightly. "Oh, and he was sooo cute when he asked!"

I laughed at her girly nature, already knowing we'd never end up back at discussing the train. "Really?" I prodded, getting into it a bit myself. "How so?"

"Well," she said, "he got all embarassed when you two left, and then he wouldn't talk for like five minutes, I swear."

I laughed. "Sounds like Harry."

"Yeah," she said. "So anyway, I finally prodded him to tell me what was going on, and he blushed some more, still silent."

"Yep," I commented.

"So then he stuttered all over the place, and finally muttered something like, 'So, Gin, wanna be my girlfriend or not?'"

"Sounds so romantic," I added wryly. She erupted into a fit of giggles.

"Yeah, I know," she said through her laughter. "But isn't it just so cute?"

I laughed in response. "I suppose so," I said.

This was when I went to the Burrow that summer to visit her. Needless to say, I heard an awful lot about Harry.

* * *

Now, back to the present. 

The train ride went more quickly than usual, or so it seemed. Draco and I talked most of the way, about anything and everything we could think to talk about. Finally, though, we ended up on the one subject we didn't want to discuss: home.

"Are you looking forward to it at all?" he asked carefully.

"A little," I said quietly.

"Scared?"

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Me too," he said.

"I'm not sure what I'm coming home to," I said.

"Same here," he replied. "I know it'll just me my mother and I, but I don't know how that will be. I don't know if she'll treat me better now, or perhaps worse. I don't know what I'll do when my father isn't there all the time. I don't know if I even want to visit him. I don't know how it will go when I tell my mother we're official. I don't know if she'll hate me for it." The last sentence was barely audible, but I heard it nonetheless.

"I don't know how my parents, well, my mom, will respond, either." My mistake frustrated me, but I dealt with it and left it at that.

"You'd like my mother," he said.

"If she gave me a chance."

"Right," he said, not looking at me. "Same for yours, though," he added.

"Right," I said. "I guess we'll see in an hour or so."

"Right," he replied, seeming more than a bit nervous. "So, how are you feeling about everything at home?" It was an obvious ploy to change the subject, as well as a blatant question about my feelings, but somehow I let it slide.

"I'm okay, I suppose," I started slowly. "I know it will be different, but I don't know how. I'm scared, yes. But I'm also slightly hopeful that maybe this summer will be better than the last ones." I paused, sighing. "Does that make sense?"

"I think so," he responded, holding me tightly.

We stayed that way, with him holding me as we talked, all the way to Platform 9 ¾. Upon arrival, I looked out the window. I saw my mother and his, and I took a deep breath. _Well_, I mused to myself, _I suppose now is as good a time as any_.

* * *

**A/N: Hey all, let me know what you think! Just to let you know, I'm planning on one more chapter and an epilogue. Thanks!**


	20. Last Day

**All J.K. Rowling's, except the plot. I'd like to think I own that by now. )**

The train stopped, and we began to unload. With some hesitation, Draco took my hand. Then, with even more hesitation, he squeezed it lightly and let go. Taking the hint, I simply walked close beside him.

"Hello, Draco," his mother said, eyeing me as we approached her.

"Hello, Mother," he responded.

An extremely awkward moment passed, and he finally gestured to me.

"This is my close friend, Hermione Granger," he said.

"I see," she responded, looking at him knowingly. She extended a hand to me, not coldly. "How do you do?" she greeted.

"Just fine, thanks," I responded, shaking her hand. "And yourself?"

"Just fine as well," she replied.

"Hermione has become a close friend of mine over the past year," Draco explained. Taking a slight breath, he added, "I'm considering going for a visit sometime this summer."

"I see," she repeated, eyeing me again.

"Well, Mother, I'm going to walk her over to her family," Draco said.

"All right, Draco," she said. "Please hurry."

"I will."

"It was nice to meet you, Miss Granger," his mother said.

"And you as well," I replied.

"So, what do you think?" he muttered to me, once we were out of earshot.

"Not terrible," I responded. "What do you think?"

"Not terrible," he replied.

"Your turn," I muttered as we approached my mom.

"Hermione!" she shouted, rushing forward and pulling me into a rather large hug. "How was the trip?"

"It was good," I replied, smiling at her.

"I've missed you so much!" she exclaimed.

"Me too, Mom," I said.

"So," she said, finally noticing Draco. "And who's this?"

Draco looked as though he were about to run for cover. Suppressing a laugh, I responded, "This is my close friend, Draco Malfoy."

"Malfoy, Malfoy..." she muttered. "Haven't I heard that name before?"

"Most likely," I responded quietly.

In order to avoid even more awkwardness, Draco extended his hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Granger," he said politely.

She embraced him suddenly, and he didn't quite seem to know what to do. I had to suppress another laugh. Finally, he hugged her in return.

"And you as well, Sweetheart," she responded, breaking away. "It's so nice to see Hermione with new friends," she added.

"Thank you, Mrs. Granger," he said, still trying to compose himself.

"Well, I'll leave you two be for a moment," she said. "I see Mr.and Mrs. Weasley." With that, she rushed off to greet them.

Draco looked after her, speechless.

"Well then," he said finally.

I laughed. "That's my mother," I said.

"I see," he responded. He turned to me.

"So," I said, my voice breaking a little. "It's the end of the year."

"So it is," he said quietly, taking my hands in his.

"I'll miss you," I said, feeling tears form in my eyes.

"I'll miss you as well," he responded, gently brushing a stray tear away from my cheek.

"Owl me?" I asked, almost shyly again.

"Of course," he responded. "As long as you promise to owl back."

"Of course," I said.

"Good." He pulled me into a hug, and I relaxed into him. As we came away from the hug, we kissed.

"I'll visit," he said.

"As will I," I said.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I whispered in return.

"Goodbye, Hermione," he said softly.

"Goodbye, Draco," I responded.

With that, he turned to walk away.

"Draco!" I shouted after him. He turned.

"Thanks," I said, tears now streaming down my face. "For everything."

He smiled. "Thank you too, Hermione," he said.

And with that, he was gone.

For the summer, at least. As I waited for my tears to dry and the pain to subside, I realized something. It was only one summer. A few months. For all I knew, we had the rest of our lives to spend together. Not that I was rushing into anything, but it just occurred to me.

My mom knew not to say anything for a while once she returned. She allowed me to muse in silence.

It had truly been one crazy year. I had been up and down and all over the place. I had gone from no one knowing to everyone knowing to actually feeling all of it. I had gotten help for all of us, including Draco. I had gone through almost as much as I had in my entire life all in one year, if not more. I had found a new friend, now a boyfriend. I had found my emotions, and I had fallen in love.

I knew I still had a lot to face in my life, but somehow, given everything I had gone through in the past year, I knew I could manage. After all, if I could get through that, I knew I could get through anything. All I had to do was try.

"So, how did your year go?" Mom finally asked.

"It was good," I responded. And for once, I knew I wasn't lying. I smiled most of the ride home.

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**A/N: Well, that's it for the actual story. Epilogue coming soon. Let me know what you think!**


	21. Epilogue

**This and most elements of the entire story are and have been J.K. Rowling's. I greatly appreciate her for not telling Fanfiction we can't use them. **

**Now, on to the epilogue.**

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**Epilogue**

My summer went well. As referred to earlier, I went to visit Ginny a few times. I also visited Draco a couple of times at the Manor, and his mother eventually warmed up to me. As I thought, her flowers were gorgeous in the daytime. She did all her gardening on her own, though, which greatly surprised me.

Draco came to visit me, and my mother was, of course, very nice to him. He eventually got used to it. My sisters all thought he was "so hott," and I found it rather amusing. Each visit was amazing in itself, and they all added up to a great summer. The daily letters helped, as well.

Eventually Ron and Harry got over it. Now they aren't exactly friends with Draco, but they can at least be cordial. They don't, as Harry and Draco said, "hex each other." That's all I really ask, to be honest.

As for Harry and Ginny, they're still doing quite well. They have this fun love/hate thing going, which is always great to watch. They fight one second, then snog each other senseless the next. Ron's reactions are always amusing with that one.

Ron eventually found a girl. A new girl came into school the following year, and she sorted into Gryffindor. She had an immediate fascination with the redhead, and they've now been together for a bit over a year.

Draco and I are doing wonderfully. Once in a while we still hit awkward moments with that whole bloodline idea, and I won't pretend things are always great, but they're usually good. It seems the longer we're together, the better people react to us. Given we were such an unlikely couple to begin with, it was going to be difficult for others to get used to us. I knew that going into it.

Our fathers both remained in prison. Lucius's pardon never came, and I hear my father is doing pretty well with a reformation program. I went to visit him once. It actually went surprisingly well, but I don't know if I'll ever go back. Sometimes, it's just too painful.

As for me, I'm good. Genuinely, good. My grades aren't quite as perfect, and I don't fool anyone with my act anymore, but I'm okay with it. The entire ordeal with Draco finding out, getting all the help, and having everyone find out, ended out okay. I now realize emotional health is sometimes more important than other aspects of life, and I never had that before. I like it. I still maintain I didn't want them to know, but now I suppose I'm glad they do.

And we didn't all live quite happily ever after, but hey. We're managing.

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**A/N: Well, that's the end... There's one more note in the next chapter. I didn't want to interrupt the story with it, but feel free to read. Thanks again for all the great reviews. You've all been really sweet. I'm not sure what story might be coming next, but we'll see. If you all ask nicely enough and I have enough time, I might even try for a sequel. You never know. **

**PS- I just started a new story: "The Project." I don't know quite yet how it'll turn out, but you're welcome to read. Thanks!**


	22. Final Author's Note

Hey all, this is my author's final note for this story. If you'd like to review on the story itself without letting my personal life cloud your judgment, feel free to do so now.

I just wanted you to know that there's a reason I can show a person who went through abuse so well: it's based on my life. I've done the numb thing, and I did have a huge family problem that snapped me out of it. In my case, my mom had a stroke.

Like the Hermione I showed, I wanted everyone to think I was the perfect little student. I got great grades, I answered all the questions in class, and yes, I didn't want them to know.

I had to go through basically the same process of finding my emotions again that I had Hermione do. It was tough, and it was likely the toughest thing I've ever done, but I did it. I'm still fighting with it almost daily. It truly is like an addiction in a lot of ways. It's just the default mode you're in, and you don't know how to quit.

My counselor says it's common with people who have experienced any sort of abuse in childhood.

So anyway, I guess I just wanted to say, if you need help, get it. I was, thankfully, out of the situation before it got as far as it did in this story. It still happens to my mom and I still have to listen to her cry, but now I live with my dad. If nothing else, I'm out of it.

Also, if any of you have any questions or would like to talk about anything, let me know. The email address is listed in my profile. Sorry for the slight mushiness/emotional quality of this. It sorta comes with the territory.

Thanks, everyone.

SimplyHermione


	23. Sequel Began

Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you know I'm starting a sequel for this story. It's called "Cleaning out the Closet." In it, Hermione can finally feel her emotions, but now she needs to learn how to deal with them when even deeper parts of her past come forward. And yes, as most of you have probably guessed by now, I have some experience with that one, too...

Anyway, read it if you'd like. I'll try to update it as often as I can, but it might not be quite as frequent as this one was. School's starting again soon. Just letting you know.

Thanks,

SimplyHermione


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